Sunday, November 29, 2015

Steel City Dogs On The Road

Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS

With Russell Wilson taking selfies with  Ciara and posting them on Insta, and his coaching staff just ripping him for it, could it get any worse for this guy?

I do believe he did guide them to 2 consecutive Super Bowl appearances and from what I know about him he's an all around good guy.  I may not be a fan, but shouldn't his coaching staff?  Pretty embarrassing stuff from Pete Carroll and his coaching staff, but it's nothing new for a loser like himself.  Pete's a cheater, sore loser and overall bad dude.  Hey Pete keep thinking 9/11 is an inside job and that your big money QB sucks, I'm sure that helps morale.

Doesn't help that Seattle welcomes in the big time offense led by a healthy Roethlisberger and AB84.  The 2015 version of the Legion of Boom has been boomlet and the only thing that will be able to stop this offense would be Russell Wilson's chastity belt.




Steelers(+3.5)-28 Seahawks-27





-Clay
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Clay Lays His Fav Big Blue Wood

Photo Credit-Zimbio/Filter-NYMWS

12-3.  The Giants are 12-3 in the last 15 games against Washington and Kirk Cousins numbers against the Giants have been pretty awful in his career.  

This game reminds me of the last game of the 2010 season when I took the trip down to Landover, MD for the season finale game between the Giants and Hogs.  One of the best games I was ever at; 4 rows from the Giants bench, Ahmad Bradshwad threw me his glove, the Giants won, Boomer and Carton got the Coughlin "KISS MY ASS" sound byte, I drank my first 2 Four Loco's ever, drove to AC after the game, and went to the recently shut down Rainbow Room.  I don't care if I was with two degenerate friends or that I got a rusty trombone, it was still a top 10 night in my life.  Anyways the was a beat down and that's basically what I am saying this will be.

I heard a great call into Mike this morning where the called likened the Hogs to the Colorado Rockies because they only win at home.  I like that, ok.  That was a good call, ok.  And just like the Rockies, the Hogs just do not match up against teams well, and the Giants are a team that exploits their weaknesses.

Prince is back.  The defense is finally buying into Spags' system and they will win going away and make the path to the division title that much easier.

Hey Kirk.....


Giants-35(-2.5) Washington-13




-Clay
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What About Famous Jameis?

Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS
I've always thought Jameis Winston was a total knucklehead but he's quickly forcing me to change my feelings with his recent play. During my morning twitter scrolling I saw two tweets from @RapSheet today that made me officially hop on the Famous Jameis bandwagon. He's dialed in and fully prepares himself to step on the field with an opportunity to win each week. With a fellow first overall pick on the sidelines for his opponent today, I'm all in on underdog Jamies at Lucas Oil. 

Bucs (+3) 20 – Colts 17


-Fitzgerald


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Fitzy the Addict Lays the Wood

Photo Credit-Zimbio/Filter-NYMWS
I'm an addict. I can't stop and I won't stop. Fitzy (not me, the QB Fitzy) shaved the beard, QC got cut and S Rich is back. I have to lay the wood based on that. I'm going to keep doing it and I know all you fellow addicts are as well. Let's squish the fish today! 

JETS (-4) 27 - Dolphins 10

-Fitzgerald
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Clay's Week 12 Fantasy Minaj

Photo credit - hitfix.com / Filter - NYMWS

Viagra Play of the Week - T.J. Yeldon (Jaguars RB)  
(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

The rook hasn't been healthy in weeks, but coming off of the nice 10 day lay off after Thursday Night Football, the young man is feeling good.  The mini will help a guy that seemed to have hit a wall in recent weeks and will hopefully revitalize his team to a division title.  The Jags also have the matchup to shoot Yeldon up anyones rankings.  The Chargers traveling east have been historically bad and so far this season their beat up defense is giving the most points to running backs in the entire NFL.  Get this boy in your lineups.

BBW - Brandon LaFell (Patriots WR)
(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

I'm all about the match ups this week and this is the main reason for this pick.  With the top 2 WR's out due to injuries LaFell slides into that role like Lucky Lance has been sliding into our DM's.  And just like we shut Lance down every time, the same is going to happen to LaFell today in Denver.  The Pats offensive line sucks, the weather is calling for a wintry mix, and TB12 just doesn't trust this guy enough yet.  There are much better options out there, please get him out of the lineup if you want to win.

Moped Ride of the Week - Antonio Andrews (Titans RB)
(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

I've watched about half of the Raiders games this season since I anointed them my team this season and even though the offense always comes to play, the defense seems to sleep walk some weeks.  Especially against the run.  I see a lot of points this week in this interesting game and Andrews will break a few runs.  Andrews scores twice and cracks the century mark, so he is an absolute must start.

Fantasy Fitz's Week 12 Minaj a Trois

Photo credit - hitfix.com / Filter - NYMWS
Viagra Play of the Week - Allen Robinson(Jaguars WR)  
(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

This one is way over due. How has A-Rob not been a Viagra Play this year? Allen Robinson is 129 yards away from becoming the first Jag since 2005 to have 1,000 receiving yards in a season. With the Chargers on tap today, expect the Penn State alum to achieve that milestone in Jacksonville. 

BBW - Sammy Watkins (Bills WR)
(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

Hey Rexy, stop trying to make Sammy Watkins happen. Rex came out again this week doing his 'they need to get the ball into Sammy's hands schtick.' Don't let same old Rexy fool you with his nonsense. Sammy's been disappointing on (and off) the field this season, and there is no way you can trust him in your lineup against this red hot Andy Reid defense. Keep Sammy on the bench, and we're going to Disney World.
Photo Credit - @sammywatkins on IG
Moped Ride of the Week - Gary Barnidge (Browns TE)
(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it) 

I was really upset when I first heard about Johnny Football's latest demotion. But my frown quickly turned upside down when I remembered that I own me some Gary Barnidge, and Johnny's benching gets me back the Josh McCown-Gary that I first fell in love with. Sure Johnny got the juices going with a TD pass to the Barn last week, but Josh is the man that all of us Gary Barnidge guys and gals want. With the McCowidge reunion on deck for Monday night, Rosa Mendes' daytime date is this week's Moped Ride. 


-FantasyFitz

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Turkey Dinner with Cam

Photo Credit: TheDivineMissMommy.com/Filter: NYMWS



With all of the talk about the funky appetizer, the main course may be the best meal of the day literally and figuratively may be the most delectable of this beautiful day.

The undefeated Panthers crash Jerry's World to square off against the Dallas Romo's.  Tony's undefeated this year, albeit in only three games, but I mean the guy is 3-0.  Cam's undefeated too, oh wait but he's 10-0!  Everyone is jumping Romo's bones and sucking his cock saying that this will be the week, this will be the team that beats Carolina and sends them home with their first loss.  I say NO SIR.  Romo will be the turkey of the day, as the best pass defense in the league smothers Dez and Co. like I'll smother my mashed potatoes with some of that warm brown gravy.  Cam with be as sweet as those candied yams that mom makes so good and boost his MVP credentials.  Look for Jerry's World to turn into Ron Rivera's Playhouse and those 'Cats will "Keep Pounding".

All this food talk's got your boy hungry!  Let's do it.

Happy Thanksgiving errbody! 

Panthers 30  - Cowboys 16 (PK)

p.s. Fantasy Dip - Jonathan Stewart is your Viagra, Dez BBW, and Devin Funchess is your Moped.

Fitzy's Main Course

Photo Credit: TheDivineMissMommy.com/Filter: NYMWS

The NYMWS Tag Team Champions of the World are splitting up for the main course and Chef Fitzy is serving the dish that you want. Fitzy's main course is predictable. Clay's...not so much. Clay's goes to Thanksgiving feasts that serve ham instead of turkey. So stick with Fitzy, who's sticking with his word of being all in with Dem Boys the rest of the way, and enjoy some predictable, delicious, turkey as the Cowboys serve Cam his first loss of the season. 

Happy Thanksgiving Playas! 

COWBOYS (PK) 27 - Panthers 24 

p.s. Fantasy Dip - Dez is matchup proof (a.k.a a Viagra Play), See Stew as a BBW (no one likes Stew on Thanksgiving). 


-Fitzgerald
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Fitzy's Thanksgiving Appetizer

Photo Credit: TheDivineMissMommy.com/Filter: NYMWS

Happy Thanksgiving folks! It's time get the Fitzy Thanksgiving feast started.

The appetizer is going to taste a little funky this year because we're getting served two of the most difficult teams to figure out. 

Mark Sanchez makes another Thanksgiving day start and you have to believe the Sanchize is brined up to be more of the 2014 Thanksgiving Mark than the 2012 tush fumble Thanksgiving Mark. As improved as the Lions defense has been over the past two games, and as crappy as this Chip Kelly offense has been all year, I still have to give the nod to the uptempo offense on this short week. DeMarco Murray is no stranger to Thanksgiving course, and with Matthews out he'll have a full plate of carries, so expect the former Cowboy to stuff a few in that familiar Thanksgiving end zone today. 

The Lions offense hasn't been anything to brag about during the past two weeks but Megatron and Stafford should have no trouble getting some points on the scoreboard against a sketchy Eagles' defense. Coming off his first game in forever with decent workload, I'm tasting a little Ameer Abdullah in the paydirt pie.

With all this talk about the offenses, let's go OVA for the appetizer. 

LIONS 24  - Eagles 31 (OVA 47)

p.s. Fantasy Dip - Murray's a Viagra Play, Sanchez & AA are Mopeds.


-Fitzgerald
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Sunday, November 22, 2015

Fitzy Goes OVA in SD

Photo Credit-Patrick E. McCarthy(Newsday) /Filter-NYMWS


In just under one hour Clay's Viagra Play takes the field in an AFC West showdown. Clay's hit it right on the button with his call this week because Kanye's cousin Chacandrick is going to pace the way for a high scoring affair in the "Whale's Vag". 

Chacandrick is not only going to get his, but he's also going to open the Chiefs' offense up as a whole. Having to respect him should allow NYMWS' favorite game manager Alex Smith to get talented pass catchers Travis Kelce and Jeremy Maclin involved in the scoring. This offense should be good for over 30 today against a Chargers defense who can't stop a nose bleed. 

While the Chargers suck D on D they fortunately have a man who is far from a game manager under center. The only man in the NFL with more children than Cromartie is going to come to play tonight on his home turf in this AFC West showdown. NYMWS' favorite window throwa Phil Rivers is all about slinging the rock and scoring points. He doesn't give a damn who's healthy and who's catching it. Rivers is going to throw it 50 times today and while that might not be enough to win, it will be enough for us to hit the OVA.


photo credit: sportingnews.com


CHARGERS 27 - Chiefs 31 OVA 45.5


-Fitzgerald
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Mr. Munn and The Vikes Go OVA


Photo Credit-Patrick E. McCarthy(Newsday) /Filter-NYMWS

The biggest news of the week was, NYMWS's girl, Olivia Munn blasting the media. She was upset that the media put her on blast about her sexcapades with A-Rod. She doesn't think that has anything to do with it. And as her biggest fan I most certainly agree. Maybe Aaron could take a suggestion that I gave last week and fuck the shit out of her to change his luck?  The probability of that happening is zero so something else has to happen to change the Packers fortune and maybe it's relax?  Ya know that cute catch phrase Aaron used last year. That's the perfect motto right now for this squad. 

They will relax this week and get back in the win colum after a couple of off weeks. They will get back to scoring the rock like recent past as well and go OVA for all of my fav fans. 




Packers-28 Vikings-21 OVA 44





-Clay
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Clay's Rams Dogs Win In Baltimore

Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS

2 weeks in a row the Ravens are favored at home for some reason.  Has anyone else noticed how bad the Ravens have been all year??  They've been completely irrelevant with nothing positive at all coming out of Baltimore.  I get that the refs screwed them out of the win last week, I get that, but I also get tat they still wouldn't have covered that ridiculous 5.5 spread.  

Like the Jags were last week, the Rams are coming off of a brutal loss and look to keep their slim playoff hopes alive.  But hey, a win can propel this team and we all know Jeff Fisher lit a fire under their asses this week.  

The Ravens are so weak in every phase of the game right now and they might finish as the worst team in the league.  They will have no answer for Todd Gurley.  Case Keenum will be a non factor, but will be a solid "game manager" as the Rams smack up the Ravens and send them into true football irrelevance.




Rams(+2.5)-27 Ravens-16




-Clay
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Clay's Week 11 Fantasy Minaj

Photo credit - hitfix.com / Filter - NYMWS

Viagra Play of the Week - Chacandrick West (Chiefs RB)  
(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

With the loss of Jamaal Charles and being in the same divivsion as the powerhouse Broncos it looked like the Chiefs were settling for another sub par season.  Oh have times have changed.  All of a sudden Chacandrick West is the best running back in the NFL that you've never heard of and the Broncos suck.  The Chiefs still have a lot of work to do, but with one of the easiest schedules remaining in the NFL, they can catch up to Denver in no time.  Alex Smith has proven that he isn't a big time quarterback, so West will have to do his part like he has the past three weeks.  We all know Fat Andy loves to run the rock and as long as he gets Chacandrick at least twenty touches the Chiefs will win and so will your fantasy team.

BBW - A.J. Green (Bengals WR)
(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

I wanted to love the Bengals.  I actually did for a couple of weeks after the Red Rifle shut me up, but I'm glad to see the real Bengals are back.  The team led by the clueless coach and the weirdo quarterback is finally back to normal.  Unfortunately for a really talented receiver the Bengals will Bengal.  A.J. Green has some real talent, but I fear he's just starting to feed into the loser mentality.  That fumble in the final seconds against the shitty Texans proved this fact for me once and for all.  Also, Green will not be facing a mediocre defense this week, he's got one of the toughest corners to get room against in Patrick Peterson.  Cards smell blood and will once again turn the Red Rifle into the Red Pea Shoota so Green will suffer.  It's tough to do, but sit 'em.

Moped Ride of the Week - James Jones (Packers WR)
(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

It's not his sex life that has Aaron Rodgers struggling as of late. It's the fact that James Jones has been M.I.A.  No one thought that James Jones was going to be anything this season, but with all of the injuries to the Packers receivers and seeing that Randall Cobb is clearly overmatched as the number one guy, Jones has been a refreshing story.  Or should I say he was a refreshing story.  He had six touchdowns in during the Packers 6-0 start to the season, but has only amassed three catches for 59 yards in the three game losing streak.  I would hope that Mike McCarthy sees these numbers and looks to get Jones into the game plan.  If that fat bastard doesn't then I know A-Rod will find his guy and get him into the end zone for the first time in awhile.

Filthy Fitz Lays the Wood

Photo Credit-Zimbio/Filter-NYMWS
I feel filthy doing this but I have to. I dealt a 2016 3rd round pick for Dez this week in a league where I manage my dime piece's team and what that means is I'm officially all in on Dem Boys the rest of the way.

My relationship with Jerry's squad couldn't come at a more opportune time as the undefeated Tony Romo makes his return from injury. With the straight fire that Tony is tweeting out, it's safe to say that Tony is fully aware of the task at hand. He's not heading out to South Beach to kick the rust off. He's heading out to South Beach to kick off this run for the NFC East and to let my boy Dez throw up the X. 
  

Cowboys 27(-2.5)  - DOLPHINS 17


In continuing with my current filthy ways I have to get back to work with my boys in green. It's been real tough sledding as of late for Gang Green. They've dropped three of their last four and are an even more upsetting 0-3-1 against the spread during that span. It's been a tough stretch for a devoted Jets fan/wagerer and the Houston Texan led TJ Yates is just the script the doctor prescribed to help heal our woes.

Jets (-3) 24 - TEXANS 10
p.s. I'm buying it down to 2.5 because Jets.


-Fitzgerald
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FantasyFitz's Week 11 Minaj A Trois

Photo credit - hitfix.com / Filter - NYMWS

Viagra Play of the Week - Latavius Murray (Raiders RB)  
(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

While Lat Murray's been in a TD slump over his past three games, his 5.2 yards per attempt during the slump (4.7 on the season) has this fantasy owner feeling optimistic. The Raiders have Crabs, AC/DC and the aerial attack hogging the scoring this season but with a RB friendly Detroit on the schedule, expect Latavius to finally get the opportunity to do the scoring.  

BBW - DeAndre Hopkins (Texans WR)
(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

League leading target rate smarget rate. Revis Island is out to prove to the doubters that Revis Island is still a no fly zone. Stay away TJ.

Moped Ride of the Week - Tyrod Taylor (Bills QB)
(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

This one's for you Ben, Brees, Eli and Johnny Football owners. Three quarterbacks have scored over 20 fantasy points (ESPN Standard Scoring) against the Pats and that weirdo beard rocking defensive coordinator this season. Andrew Luck, Eli Manning and wait for it....Tyrod Taylor. Tyrod came out the fantasy gate hot this year but the hype train seemed to derail after his week 5 injury. With Tyrod back under center for the last two games, the Bills are looking like their back on track with two divisional wins but TT's fantasy points haven't followed suit. With plenty of rest, and plenty of motivation from his single white female of a head Coach Rexy, the former Hokie will be able to pick it pick it up pick it up. Who f*cking tonight? 




-FantasyFitz 

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Clay's Got A Pack Of Dogs In Week 10

Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS

3 and 1.  Only team the Pats haven't beat in the NFL since 2008.  The only team to beat Tom Brady in the Super Bowl.  Oh yea and they did that TWICE.  A lot has been made of the the Giants being the Patriot kryptonite and I believe every damn word of it.  I've seen Eli and TC shock the world twice.  I've seen them play their starters in a game that meant nothing against an undefeated Pats team.  All of this is in the Patriots head.  I will be in the building and this will be my first time I'll be watching a Tom Brady game in flesh and blood since TB12 beat them Jets in Gillette in the 2006 playoffs.  Well Tom, this isn't Gillette and these aren't the Jets.  Just like it 42, Eli orchestrates a miraculous final drive and finds his number one recover in the back corner of the end zone for the victory.  No need to buy any points, the GMEN win out right.




Giants(+7)-31 Patriots-27

Poor Joe Flacco.  This former elite quarterback officially has no one to throw it to.  Kamar Aiken will get his targets and catches, but it won't work.  He's just not ready to carry the work load that Steve Smith Sr. has taken so far and even with Sr. playing well the Ravens haven't.  On the other side of the field the Jags have been playing well and just losing.  Just like the Texans, the Jags are still alive in the division race and going on the road to Baltimore isn't as intimidating when they don't have the likes of Ray Lewis, Haloti Ngata, or Terrell Suggs.  The Jags offense will continue their impressive run and will put up points against this weak Ravens squad.  They will win out right.


Jaguars(+5.5)-35 Ravens-21

The Cards are a better team.  Seattle has proven that they are beatable at home this year.  And I'm hearing that Marshawn will sit?  Ummm, Cards by a million (or four) and yet another one of my dogs win out right.

Cardinals(+3)-21 Seahawks-17




-Clay
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Clay Lays Heavy Wood All Over

Photo Credit-Zimbio/Filter-NYMWS

 I have already alluded to my feelings about the Aaron Rodgers today at home against the Lions, but I haven't given all of the facts as to why it will be a beat down by the cheese heads at home.  Can someone say 1991?  I mean your boy Fitzy was still sucking on his mommy's nips in 1991 and that was the last time the Lions beat the Packers at Lambeau Field.  1991!  24 years ago!  I mean these teams don't play each other once every four years, they play at Lambeau every single year.  Absolutely mind boggling and unbelievable stat.

Couple that ridiculous stat with the fact the Packers got beat up the past couple of weeks and that spells danger for the Lions.  Detroit is back in the USA after their trip to London where they played an egg against the Chiefs, and their poor season looks to get poorer against the hungry Packers.  I don't care if Calvin Johnson is playing.  I don't care if Jim Caldwell says he is in fact alive and not dead.  And I certainly don't care that their offensive coordinator, Jim Bob Cooter, has the best name in league.  The Lions are set to get blown out yet again and continue their slide in Green Bay.


Packers-45(-10.5) Lions-14

This is maybe the biggest lay-up of the weekend.  Panthers only laying 5 points against the Titans?  I will take that, thank you very much.  The Panthers have proven to be a monster team, not only at home, but also on the road.  Does anyone remember a couple of weeks back when they beat those 12th man losers up in Seattle?  This was a mortal lock as soon as Marcus Mariota walked into the stadium this morning wearing his Titans v-neck sweater, I mean, dude you just were drafted #2 overall and made a stupid amount of money and you're wearing a Titans sweater?  Get some style Marcus, you're not in Oregon anymore.  

Panthers-24(-5) Titans-10

You know what's awesome?  The Houston Texans are still very much in the drivers seat to win the AFC South.  This would be great especially because the Colts are a bunch of bitches and Andrew Luck has blown this season.  Unfortunately for the Houston JJ Watt's, they get to travel to Cincy to face the undefeated Bengals on MNF.  That's two prime time games in a row for the Bengals and it will turn into two impressive wins in prime time.  I don't care that the Red Rifle made a fool of himself with that impressive hair on the cover of ESPN The Magazine, it's not Sports Illustrated, so he hasn't been cursed yet.  Texans get a late TD to make it closer then it looks and the Bengals are the only AFC team that remains undefeated.

Bengals-33(-11) Texans-21





-Clay
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Clay's Week 10 Fantasy Minaj

Photo credit - hitfix.com / Filter - NYMWS

Viagra Play of the Week - Aaron Rodgers (Packers QB)  
(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

This totally against everything NYMWS.  We take pride in the fact that we do not pick the big boys, the favorites, the top round drafts picks, but sometimes you got to break the rules and R-E-L-A-X.  I wouldn't suggest this unless I think that this player would have an unprecedented type of day, and that is exactly what I am forecasting for Aaron Rodgers.  Rodgers was embarrassed by his performances the past two week and what better way to break out of the slump then against the worst team of my generation.  Rodgers will have a Week 8 Drew Brees like performance, but maybe he'll throw five and run for two.  Look for the biggest fantasy performance of the year from Mr. Munn, who I heard broke up his normal week by banging out Olivia to try and break up the monotony.

BBW - Darren McFadden (Cowboys RB)
(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

Hold up.  People are actually forecasting a big game for a dude that hasn't had a full workload in about  five years?!?  HA!  Do me a favor Cowboys fans and get off of your knees.  Enough with Dez Bryant, Tony Romo, Jason Garrett, Jerry Jones.  Enough of this team.  And especially enough of these bunch of loser running backs.  None of them are as good as DeMarco, and in the same breath enough of this offensive line.  Without the quarterback or a decent running game, there is absolutely no chance the oft-injured McFadden does anything impressive.  

Moped Ride of the Week - Jarvis Landry (Dolphins WR)
(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

This is a Clay favorite and in no means would I consider Landry just a fun ride for one week, but the way the Dolphins have been playing of late I wouldn't doubt seeing folks sitting my boy.  That's been the right call the past couple of weeks, but if he's still relaxing on the bench, wake his ass up and get him in your starting lineup.  One question, did anyone see what Cole Beasley did against the Eagles last week?  I mean that's Cole Beasley, not Jarvis Landry.  Expect an absolutely monster game out of OBJ's bestie from the slot, as the Dolphins upset the Eagles on the road.

What About the Bears?

Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS
I'm loving the disrespect being shown to my main man Jay Cutler. Everyone keeps talking about this whole Bears rebuilding ish and Jay Cutler is just out here in his prime banging KC and winning ball games. I get that the Rams defense is kind of sort of bad ass, I get that. But a whole TD is too much for Fish and Foles to be giving to Jay and Foxy. 

Bears (+7.5) 24 – Rams 23


-Fitzgerald


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p.s. Insert typical sexy KC pic here...