Clay Lays Heavy Wood All Over

Photo Credit-Zimbio/Filter-NYMWS

 I have already alluded to my feelings about the Aaron Rodgers today at home against the Lions, but I haven't given all of the facts as to why it will be a beat down by the cheese heads at home.  Can someone say 1991?  I mean your boy Fitzy was still sucking on his mommy's nips in 1991 and that was the last time the Lions beat the Packers at Lambeau Field.  1991!  24 years ago!  I mean these teams don't play each other once every four years, they play at Lambeau every single year.  Absolutely mind boggling and unbelievable stat.

Couple that ridiculous stat with the fact the Packers got beat up the past couple of weeks and that spells danger for the Lions.  Detroit is back in the USA after their trip to London where they played an egg against the Chiefs, and their poor season looks to get poorer against the hungry Packers.  I don't care if Calvin Johnson is playing.  I don't care if Jim Caldwell says he is in fact alive and not dead.  And I certainly don't care that their offensive coordinator, Jim Bob Cooter, has the best name in league.  The Lions are set to get blown out yet again and continue their slide in Green Bay.


Packers-45(-10.5) Lions-14

This is maybe the biggest lay-up of the weekend.  Panthers only laying 5 points against the Titans?  I will take that, thank you very much.  The Panthers have proven to be a monster team, not only at home, but also on the road.  Does anyone remember a couple of weeks back when they beat those 12th man losers up in Seattle?  This was a mortal lock as soon as Marcus Mariota walked into the stadium this morning wearing his Titans v-neck sweater, I mean, dude you just were drafted #2 overall and made a stupid amount of money and you're wearing a Titans sweater?  Get some style Marcus, you're not in Oregon anymore.  

Panthers-24(-5) Titans-10

You know what's awesome?  The Houston Texans are still very much in the drivers seat to win the AFC South.  This would be great especially because the Colts are a bunch of bitches and Andrew Luck has blown this season.  Unfortunately for the Houston JJ Watt's, they get to travel to Cincy to face the undefeated Bengals on MNF.  That's two prime time games in a row for the Bengals and it will turn into two impressive wins in prime time.  I don't care that the Red Rifle made a fool of himself with that impressive hair on the cover of ESPN The Magazine, it's not Sports Illustrated, so he hasn't been cursed yet.  Texans get a late TD to make it closer then it looks and the Bengals are the only AFC team that remains undefeated.

Bengals-33(-11) Texans-21

-Clay

Tweet at me bitch

"Like" the Facebook page pussy

Email me (sluts only please)

Clay's Week 10 Fantasy Minaj

Photo credit - hitfix.com / Filter - NYMWS

Viagra Play of the Week - Aaron Rodgers (Packers QB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

This totally against everything NYMWS.  We take pride in the fact that we do not pick the big boys, the favorites, the top round drafts picks, but sometimes you got to break the rules and R-E-L-A-X.  I wouldn't suggest this unless I think that this player would have an unprecedented type of day, and that is exactly what I am forecasting for Aaron Rodgers.  Rodgers was embarrassed by his performances the past two week and what better way to break out of the slump then against the worst team of my generation.  Rodgers will have a Week 8 Drew Brees like performance, but maybe he'll throw five and run for two.  Look for the biggest fantasy performance of the year from Mr. Munn, who I heard broke up his normal week by banging out Olivia to try and break up the monotony.

BBW - Darren McFadden (Cowboys RB)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

Hold up.  People are actually forecasting a big game for a dude that hasn't had a full workload in about  five years?!?  HA!  Do me a favor Cowboys fans and get off of your knees.  Enough with Dez Bryant, Tony Romo, Jason Garrett, Jerry Jones.  Enough of this team.  And especially enough of these bunch of loser running backs.  None of them are as good as DeMarco, and in the same breath enough of this offensive line.  Without the quarterback or a decent running game, there is absolutely no chance the oft-injured McFadden does anything impressive.  

Moped Ride of the Week - Jarvis Landry (Dolphins WR)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

This is a Clay favorite and in no means would I consider Landry just a fun ride for one week, but the way the Dolphins have been playing of late I wouldn't doubt seeing folks sitting my boy.  That's been the right call the past couple of weeks, but if he's still relaxing on the bench, wake his ass up and get him in your starting lineup.  One question, did anyone see what Cole Beasley did against the Eagles last week?  I mean that's Cole Beasley, not Jarvis Landry.  Expect an absolutely monster game out of OBJ's bestie from the slot, as the Dolphins upset the Eagles on the road.

What About the Bears?

Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS

I'm loving the disrespect being shown to my main man Jay Cutler. Everyone keeps talking about this whole Bears rebuilding ish and Jay Cutler is just out here in his prime banging KC and winning ball games. I get that the Rams defense is kind of sort of bad ass, I get that. But a whole TD is too much for Fish and Foles to be giving to Jay and Foxy. 

Bears (+7.5) 24 – Rams 23

-Fitzgerald

twitter / FB / g-spot

p.s. Insert typical sexy KC pic here...

FantasyFitz's Week 10 Minaj a Trois

Photo credit - hitfix.com / Filter - NYMWS

Viagra Play of the Week - LeGarrette Blount (Patriots RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

Everybody's out here trying to figure out if it's going to be White or Bolden who replaces Neon Dion and I'm just over here like, "hey yo LeGarrette, pass the Blount". I know he's not that type of player but who says when your chick goes down that you need to replace her with one just like her. Look for LB to get himself some of those DL snaps, and more snaps in the Pats O for LB, should mean more fantasy points for our lineup. 

BBW - John Brown (Cardinals WR)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

JB as a questionable game time decision against the Legion of Boom off of a bye? I'll pass. You live and you learn folks.  

Moped Ride of the Week - Brandon LaFell (Patriots WR)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

Due, due, due, due, due, due. Sorry Clay, but today's the day we finally see that long Brady to LaFell TD that all of us LaFell stashers have been longing for. It also won't hurt that Prince is nicked up. DRC can't cover everybody.   

-FantasyFitz 

Fitz Heads to the Dirty Jerz to Lay The Wood

Photo Credit-Zimbio/Filter-NYMWS

Sexy Rexy makes his return to MetLife tonight and he's got me feeling some type of way. He's using all the same moves that he used to turn us on to turn the Bills Mafia on and I hate it. It's not that I'm jealous, or that I want him back, my man Todd is satisfying me just fine. It's just that it's pissing me off. 

I don't know. Maybe it's because underneath all this Rexness there's an actual crucial AFC East football game to be played. Maybe it's because I hate these freaking Thursday night games. Maybe it's because my squad is all banged up. Maybe it's because I'm making a rare appearance at MetLife and the weather is as nasty as the women in Buffalo. Or, maybe it's because I might be going through another break up because Janetty Clayton is being distant AF and not communicating with me. 

It could be any of those but I'm running out of time to figure it out because I have to start my journey from the 631 to the Dirty Jerz. Buy the thing down to a point and put your money on Gang Green to pull out the sloppy victory. 

JETS (-1) 20 - Bills 10

p.s. Don't worry Wood Sporters. If Clay and I break up I'm going to start my solo site Suffolk County Morning Wood Sports so you can all get your Fitzy fix. 

-Fitzgerald

twitter / FB / g-spot

Clay's Most Hated Go Ova

Photo Credit-Patrick E. McCarthy(Newsday) /Filter-NYMWS

I am one angry dude at the moment.  Both myself and Fitz are shitting the bed so far today, Fitz is M.I.A., and in order to keep our good name in tact I have to put on my big boy pants and wager on a little Sunday Night Football.  No, Carrie, I have definitely not been waiting all day for Sunday Night.  I hate that I have to do this, but I'm a company man.

I let the powers that be know that I will bite the bullet and wager on these two losers, but there was going to be no chance I was going to pick either one, so I took the points.  I want to be entertained tonight, so I went out on a limb and took the OVA.

Both of these teams have their issues, but I wanted to focus on the home team for a bit.  The last time these 2 faced off at the beginning of the season the Eagles knocked out Tony Romo, basically ruining Dallas' season.  I understand that they're currently only one game back in the loss column behind the Giants, but only having two wins is a huge issue.  Romo isn't expected back until Thanksgiving because he's a bitch, so expect more losing.

The other thing with the Cowboys is just how delusional Jerry Jones is.  It's actually scary.  This whole Greg Hardy situation has proven that it might be time for Jerry to do the right thing and get out of the game.  This old fuck has one like one playoff game in the past 20 years, he's the definition of lawst.  With all of the things that Jerry and I differ on we do agree on one thing, we're both monkey fans!

http://www.tmz.com/2015/11/02/dez-bryant-no-search-warrant-issued-for-monkey-cops-say/

The Cowboys look better then previous weeks, but DeMarco shines in his return back home.  The truth is I hope they tie, but Philly squeaks it out and all that matter is the points and there will be enough of them, so go OVA and redeem yourself from a shitty day.

Eagles-28 Cowboys-21 OVA 43.5

-Clay

Tweet at me bitch

"Like" the Facebook page pussy

Email me (sluts only please)

Giants Lay That Mini Wood in Tampa

Photo Credit-Zimbio/Filter-NYMWS

There are many things in life that I don't understand, and the Giants only laying 2.5 points in Tampa Bay this afternoon may have just jumped to the top of that list.  Memo to Las Vegas, did anyone watch the Giants last week?!  This is the same team that put on an absolute clinic against the Saints on the road.  Did they lose, of course they did, but only because they were facing an all-time QB and that's it.

This week the GMEN draw a rookie who has looked good as of late, but he hasn't faced a defense like the Giants.  Yes, I think that the Giants defense is good.  I don't give a shit what you think.  There are a couple of factors that go into my thinking and the biggest one comes in the form of that three fingered monster, JPP.

You down with JPP?  Yeah, you know me!  I've been singing that all day and it's going to continue into the night because he's back and ready to get wild.  The theme of last week for the Giants was that it was a homecoming for a bunch of their offensive stars, well ya know where JPP is from?  Yes, you guessed it, the good old Sunshine State.  My man has been working his deformed hand off like crazy in that heat and humidity ever since the July 4th stupidity.  

It's funny how the whole week has transpired regarding JPP.  First, he was going to try and play, then he was going to play on a limited basis, and know this sicko is going to be starting.  Insane.  

The Giants come into this game at the top of their division mainly because that "weak" defense forces so many damn turnovers.  I mean they should have won last week after that awesome scoop and score, but the coaching messed up the clock situation once again.  This week is different.  This week Big Blue will go on the road and deliver against a weaker opponent and in my eyes will do it in impressive fashion.


Giants-38(-2.5) Bucs-17

-Clay

Tweet at me bitch

"Like" the Facebook page pussy

Email me (sluts only please)

Dolphins Surprise Rex at The Ralph

Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS

This is the classic tale of two teams going in opposite directions. The Bills are back in the States after an absolutely embarrassing performance across the pond against the Jags and they welcome Dan Campbell's, suddenly resurgent, Fish into Orchard Park.  

After being the toast of the town for the first three weeks, Rex has led his team to losses in three of the past four weeks and his amazing defense has allowed 34 points in consecutive weeks.  The Bills are ecstatic to be back home against a team that they tore up in the week 3 41-14, but this is a different Dolphins team then what they faced in late September.  Regis Philbin's son isn't coaching down in Miami anymore and if you don't think that means that much, you're sadly mistaken.

Philbin was an absolute disaster over his tenure as coach.  I'm sure he was great in Green Bay behind the scenes and what not, but once he stepped into the forefront down south his weaknesses were completely exposed.  Thankfully for the Fish and there fans, exit Philbin enter Dan Campbell.  This is almost as big of a transformation as Campbell had from player to coach

http://thebiglead.com/2015/10/06/dan-campbell-interim-head-coach-with-a-hairy-legacy/

Campbell, the former New York Football Giant, has brought something to this team that they haven't had since they drafted Ryan Tannehill, toughness.  This Dolphins team is tough and you can tell by the way that they have played over the past couple of weeks.  The 'Phins did take a hit when they lost Cameron Wake last week to a torn achilles, but just like Kelly Clarkson said "what doesn't kill you makes you strongerrrrrr".  The Fish ain't dead, they're only just getting started.  The Bills on the other hand will be dead when they blow a lead at home today and lose to their division rivals.

Dolphins(+3)-21 Bills-20

-Clay

Tweet at me bitch

"Like" the Facebook page pussy

Email me (sluts only please)