What About Ben & Mike On The Road?

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Two AFC North foes meet today as the Cincinnati Bengals play host to Pittsburgh Steelers. With playoff implications involved for both teams we have a big game on our hands. When it comes to big games and these two teams, the NYMWS formula is simple folks....

Big Ben + Mike Tomlin > Red Headed Andy + Marvin Lewis

The Andy and Marv combo will ultimately win the division with their cushy lead over Ben and Mike but this won't be the week it happens. Pitt continues their push for an AFC Wild Card spot with a big win today.  

Steelers (+1) 31 – BENGALS 24

-Fitzgerald

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FantasyFitz's Week 14 Minaj a Trois

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Viagra Play of the Week - LeSean McCoy(Bills RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

Shady is throwing the ultimate revenge banger this week and he's got the perfect wingman for the party. Rexy is going to feed right into the noise and he'll ensure the Eagles all time leading rusher gets his against Chip. 

BBW - DeMarco Murray (Eagles RB)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

We have a messy situation with our Viagra Play's "replacement" in South Philly. With most of us fantasy footballers playing in our playoffs or to get into our playoffs there's no way we can put the now reported 4th string Eagles running back in our lineups. But hey, as bad as it for DeMarco, at least he can still say he fucked Clay's chic...

Photo credit - https://twitter.com/BrennanClay24   

Moped Ride of the Week - Tim Hightower (Saints RB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it) 

With Mark Ingram down there's touches for the taking out in NOLA and it looks Timnado is in line to take them. Once the news came out about Ingram we all picked a side. Some of you we're Spiller guys like Clay, and some of us we're Hightower guys like yours truly. I thought I'd watch this one play out for a week, but with @RapSheet reporting on twitter this morning that Timmy's getting the load, and the state of the RB position this season, I'm time traveling back to 2008 and starting the 10 TD fill in. 

-FantasyFitz

Lay the Wood With Fitzy Against Clay

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For the first time in four years I think Clay is a total d-bag. Clay's Big Blue plays host to my Gang Green today in the battle for NYMWS supremacy. 

It's going to start on defense for Coach Bowles and the Jets today as the objective should be real simple. Stop OBJ. There's two ways of going about this. The first is for that bad ass defensive line to overwhelm this pedestrian GMEN offensive line so Eli doesn't have time to get the ball out to OBJ. The second is for the entire secondary to just cover OBJ. With no Revis, no Marcus and aging Cro there's no one man who can cover OBJ by himself left in this secondary. I don't care if we double him, triple him or let Pryor lay the smack down on him, there is no way the Jets defense can let OBJ be OBJ today at MetLife. TB knows the deal and he'll make sure one of the two above scenarios takes place today. 

With OBJ contained, the victory will be in the favorites hands with Fitzy's offesne doing what Fitzy's offense does. B Marsh will B Marsh all over this suspect secondary, his nudest partner in crime ED will keep satisfying Jessie James and Clay's favorite Jet Chris Ivory will go Ivory Mode all day.  


Fitz (-2.5) 20 - CLAY 10

-Fitzgerald

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p.s. Make sure you spank the pig for me Clay. 

Fantasy Fitz's Week 13 Minaj a Trois

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Viagra Play of the Week - Lamar Miller(Dolphins RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

With another loss to Gang Green comes another coach firing for the Phins coaching staff. Bill Lazor is out as offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach Zac Taylor is now handling the OC duties down in the South Beach. This is Zac with no H or no K's first crack at calling an offense but it shouldn't take a genius to figure out what to do with the Miami offense right now. We are 7 games into the Dan Campbell era and in 4 of those 7 games Lamar has double digit fantasy points (ESPN Standard). What do those 4 games have in common? Double digit rushing attempts for Lamar Miller. What do the 3 games without double digit fantasy points have in common? Single digit rushing attempts for Lamar Miller. Zac's been around this team so he knows what he has on offense. A QB with a phat contract and a hot wife, a nice receiver in Jarvis, a decent receiver who almost died thanks to Tannehill serving him up to Pryor, and a balling ass running back who's underused. Zac you get Lamar the ball. And fantasy footballers you get Lamar in your lineups.

BBW - Brandin Cooks (Saints WR)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

This is basically a my bad for last week's Turkey Day Dez call. This Josh Norman thing is real. The man is truest of true shut down corners in the league right now and this week Mr. Cooks seems lined up for the shut down. After a slow start to the season the Saints second year wide receiver had strung together a few nice performances heading into their week 11 bye. In their return from the bye Brandin with an I struggled, as much of the NOLA boys did, against a surging Texans defense. Don't be fooled by the Drew Brees at home effect. You have to let Cooks ride the pine this week for your fantasy teams.  

Moped Ride of the Week - Austin Seferian-Jenkins (Bucs TE)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it) 

Schefty is reporting that our boy Famous Jameis is getting his tight end back this week and I want ASJ on your radar Gronk (and Eifert) owners. If you owned Gronk, you owned Gronk. You didn't have a back up and anyone you scooped off the wire is a dart through at this point. The Scott Chandler thing is cute and all but I'm not in love with it. I think you need to get creative in Gronk's absence and ASJ is just the creative I'm talking about.   

-FantasyFitz

Steel City Dogs On The Road

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With Russell Wilson taking selfies with  Ciara and posting them on Insta, and his coaching staff just ripping him for it, could it get any worse for this guy?

I do believe he did guide them to 2 consecutive Super Bowl appearances and from what I know about him he's an all around good guy.  I may not be a fan, but shouldn't his coaching staff?  Pretty embarrassing stuff from Pete Carroll and his coaching staff, but it's nothing new for a loser like himself.  Pete's a cheater, sore loser and overall bad dude.  Hey Pete keep thinking 9/11 is an inside job and that your big money QB sucks, I'm sure that helps morale.

Doesn't help that Seattle welcomes in the big time offense led by a healthy Roethlisberger and AB84.  The 2015 version of the Legion of Boom has been boomlet and the only thing that will be able to stop this offense would be Russell Wilson's chastity belt.

Steelers(+3.5)-28 Seahawks-27

-Clay

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Clay Lays His Fav Big Blue Wood

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12-3.  The Giants are 12-3 in the last 15 games against Washington and Kirk Cousins numbers against the Giants have been pretty awful in his career.  

This game reminds me of the last game of the 2010 season when I took the trip down to Landover, MD for the season finale game between the Giants and Hogs.  One of the best games I was ever at; 4 rows from the Giants bench, Ahmad Bradshwad threw me his glove, the Giants won, Boomer and Carton got the Coughlin "KISS MY ASS" sound byte, I drank my first 2 Four Loco's ever, drove to AC after the game, and went to the recently shut down Rainbow Room.  I don't care if I was with two degenerate friends or that I got a rusty trombone, it was still a top 10 night in my life.  Anyways the was a beat down and that's basically what I am saying this will be.

I heard a great call into Mike this morning where the called likened the Hogs to the Colorado Rockies because they only win at home.  I like that, ok.  That was a good call, ok.  And just like the Rockies, the Hogs just do not match up against teams well, and the Giants are a team that exploits their weaknesses.

Prince is back.  The defense is finally buying into Spags' system and they will win going away and make the path to the division title that much easier.

Hey Kirk.....

Giants-35(-2.5) Washington-13

-Clay

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What About Famous Jameis?

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I've always thought Jameis Winston was a total knucklehead but he's quickly forcing me to change my feelings with his recent play. During my morning twitter scrolling I saw two tweets from @RapSheet today that made me officially hop on the Famous Jameis bandwagon. He's dialed in and fully prepares himself to step on the field with an opportunity to win each week. With a fellow first overall pick on the sidelines for his opponent today, I'm all in on underdog Jamies at Lucas Oil. 

Bucs (+3) 20 – Colts 17

-Fitzgerald

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Fitzy the Addict Lays the Wood

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I'm an addict. I can't stop and I won't stop. Fitzy (not me, the QB Fitzy) shaved the beard, QC got cut and S Rich is back. I have to lay the wood based on that. I'm going to keep doing it and I know all you fellow addicts are as well. Let's squish the fish today! 

JETS (-4) 27 - Dolphins 10

-Fitzgerald

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Clay's Week 12 Fantasy Minaj

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Viagra Play of the Week - T.J. Yeldon (Jaguars RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

The rook hasn't been healthy in weeks, but coming off of the nice 10 day lay off after Thursday Night Football, the young man is feeling good.  The mini will help a guy that seemed to have hit a wall in recent weeks and will hopefully revitalize his team to a division title.  The Jags also have the matchup to shoot Yeldon up anyones rankings.  The Chargers traveling east have been historically bad and so far this season their beat up defense is giving the most points to running backs in the entire NFL.  Get this boy in your lineups.

BBW - Brandon LaFell (Patriots WR)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

I'm all about the match ups this week and this is the main reason for this pick.  With the top 2 WR's out due to injuries LaFell slides into that role like Lucky Lance has been sliding into our DM's.  And just like we shut Lance down every time, the same is going to happen to LaFell today in Denver.  The Pats offensive line sucks, the weather is calling for a wintry mix, and TB12 just doesn't trust this guy enough yet.  There are much better options out there, please get him out of the lineup if you want to win.

Moped Ride of the Week - Antonio Andrews (Titans RB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

I've watched about half of the Raiders games this season since I anointed them my team this season and even though the offense always comes to play, the defense seems to sleep walk some weeks.  Especially against the run.  I see a lot of points this week in this interesting game and Andrews will break a few runs.  Andrews scores twice and cracks the century mark, so he is an absolute must start.

Fantasy Fitz's Week 12 Minaj a Trois

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Viagra Play of the Week - Allen Robinson(Jaguars WR)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

This one is way over due. How has A-Rob not been a Viagra Play this year? Allen Robinson is 129 yards away from becoming the first Jag since 2005 to have 1,000 receiving yards in a season. With the Chargers on tap today, expect the Penn State alum to achieve that milestone in Jacksonville. 

BBW - Sammy Watkins (Bills WR)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

Hey Rexy, stop trying to make Sammy Watkins happen. Rex came out again this week doing his 'they need to get the ball into Sammy's hands schtick.' Don't let same old Rexy fool you with his nonsense. Sammy's been disappointing on (and off) the field this season, and there is no way you can trust him in your lineup against this red hot Andy Reid defense. Keep Sammy on the bench, and we're going to Disney World.

Photo Credit - @sammywatkins on IG

Moped Ride of the Week - Gary Barnidge (Browns TE)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it) 

I was really upset when I first heard about Johnny Football's latest demotion. But my frown quickly turned upside down when I remembered that I own me some Gary Barnidge, and Johnny's benching gets me back the Josh McCown-Gary that I first fell in love with. Sure Johnny got the juices going with a TD pass to the Barn last week, but Josh is the man that all of us Gary Barnidge guys and gals want. With the McCowidge reunion on deck for Monday night, Rosa Mendes' daytime date is this week's Moped Ride. 

-FantasyFitz

Turkey Dinner with Cam

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With all of the talk about the funky appetizer, the main course may be the best meal of the day literally and figuratively may be the most delectable of this beautiful day.

The undefeated Panthers crash Jerry's World to square off against the Dallas Romo's.  Tony's undefeated this year, albeit in only three games, but I mean the guy is 3-0.  Cam's undefeated too, oh wait but he's 10-0!  Everyone is jumping Romo's bones and sucking his cock saying that this will be the week, this will be the team that beats Carolina and sends them home with their first loss.  I say NO SIR.  Romo will be the turkey of the day, as the best pass defense in the league smothers Dez and Co. like I'll smother my mashed potatoes with some of that warm brown gravy.  Cam with be as sweet as those candied yams that mom makes so good and boost his MVP credentials.  Look for Jerry's World to turn into Ron Rivera's Playhouse and those 'Cats will "Keep Pounding".

All this food talk's got your boy hungry!  Let's do it.

Happy Thanksgiving errbody! 

Panthers 30  - Cowboys 16 (PK)

p.s. Fantasy Dip - Jonathan Stewart is your Viagra, Dez BBW, and Devin Funchess is your Moped.

Fitzy's Main Course

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The NYMWS Tag Team Champions of the World are splitting up for the main course and Chef Fitzy is serving the dish that you want. Fitzy's main course is predictable. Clay's...not so much. Clay's goes to Thanksgiving feasts that serve ham instead of turkey. So stick with Fitzy, who's sticking with his word of being all in with Dem Boys the rest of the way, and enjoy some predictable, delicious, turkey as the Cowboys serve Cam his first loss of the season. 

Happy Thanksgiving Playas! 

COWBOYS (PK) 27 - Panthers 24 

p.s. Fantasy Dip - Dez is matchup proof (a.k.a a Viagra Play), See Stew as a BBW (no one likes Stew on Thanksgiving). 

-Fitzgerald

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Fitzy's Thanksgiving Appetizer

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Happy Thanksgiving folks! It's time get the Fitzy Thanksgiving feast started.

The appetizer is going to taste a little funky this year because we're getting served two of the most difficult teams to figure out. 

Mark Sanchez makes another Thanksgiving day start and you have to believe the Sanchize is brined up to be more of the 2014 Thanksgiving Mark than the 2012 tush fumble Thanksgiving Mark. As improved as the Lions defense has been over the past two games, and as crappy as this Chip Kelly offense has been all year, I still have to give the nod to the uptempo offense on this short week. DeMarco Murray is no stranger to Thanksgiving course, and with Matthews out he'll have a full plate of carries, so expect the former Cowboy to stuff a few in that familiar Thanksgiving end zone today. 

The Lions offense hasn't been anything to brag about during the past two weeks but Megatron and Stafford should have no trouble getting some points on the scoreboard against a sketchy Eagles' defense. Coming off his first game in forever with decent workload, I'm tasting a little Ameer Abdullah in the paydirt pie.

With all this talk about the offenses, let's go OVA for the appetizer. 

LIONS 24  - Eagles 31 (OVA 47)

p.s. Fantasy Dip - Murray's a Viagra Play, Sanchez & AA are Mopeds.

-Fitzgerald

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Fitzy Goes OVA in SD

Photo Credit-Patrick E. McCarthy(Newsday) /Filter-NYMWS

In just under one hour Clay's Viagra Play takes the field in an AFC West showdown. Clay's hit it right on the button with his call this week because Kanye's cousin Chacandrick is going to pace the way for a high scoring affair in the "Whale's Vag". 

Chacandrick is not only going to get his, but he's also going to open the Chiefs' offense up as a whole. Having to respect him should allow NYMWS' favorite game manager Alex Smith to get talented pass catchers Travis Kelce and Jeremy Maclin involved in the scoring. This offense should be good for over 30 today against a Chargers defense who can't stop a nose bleed. 

While the Chargers suck D on D they fortunately have a man who is far from a game manager under center. The only man in the NFL with more children than Cromartie is going to come to play tonight on his home turf in this AFC West showdown. NYMWS' favorite window throwa Phil Rivers is all about slinging the rock and scoring points. He doesn't give a damn who's healthy and who's catching it. Rivers is going to throw it 50 times today and while that might not be enough to win, it will be enough for us to hit the OVA.

photo credit: sportingnews.com

CHARGERS 27 - Chiefs 31 OVA 45.5

-Fitzgerald

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Mr. Munn and The Vikes Go OVA

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The biggest news of the week was, NYMWS's girl, Olivia Munn blasting the media. She was upset that the media put her on blast about her sexcapades with A-Rod. She doesn't think that has anything to do with it. And as her biggest fan I most certainly agree. Maybe Aaron could take a suggestion that I gave last week and fuck the shit out of her to change his luck?  The probability of that happening is zero so something else has to happen to change the Packers fortune and maybe it's relax?  Ya know that cute catch phrase Aaron used last year. That's the perfect motto right now for this squad. 

They will relax this week and get back in the win colum after a couple of off weeks. They will get back to scoring the rock like recent past as well and go OVA for all of my fav fans. 

Packers-28 Vikings-21 OVA 44

-Clay

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Clay's Rams Dogs Win In Baltimore

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2 weeks in a row the Ravens are favored at home for some reason.  Has anyone else noticed how bad the Ravens have been all year??  They've been completely irrelevant with nothing positive at all coming out of Baltimore.  I get that the refs screwed them out of the win last week, I get that, but I also get tat they still wouldn't have covered that ridiculous 5.5 spread.  

Like the Jags were last week, the Rams are coming off of a brutal loss and look to keep their slim playoff hopes alive.  But hey, a win can propel this team and we all know Jeff Fisher lit a fire under their asses this week.  

The Ravens are so weak in every phase of the game right now and they might finish as the worst team in the league.  They will have no answer for Todd Gurley.  Case Keenum will be a non factor, but will be a solid "game manager" as the Rams smack up the Ravens and send them into true football irrelevance.

Rams(+2.5)-27 Ravens-16

-Clay

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Clay's Week 11 Fantasy Minaj

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Viagra Play of the Week - Chacandrick West (Chiefs RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

With the loss of Jamaal Charles and being in the same divivsion as the powerhouse Broncos it looked like the Chiefs were settling for another sub par season.  Oh have times have changed.  All of a sudden Chacandrick West is the best running back in the NFL that you've never heard of and the Broncos suck.  The Chiefs still have a lot of work to do, but with one of the easiest schedules remaining in the NFL, they can catch up to Denver in no time.  Alex Smith has proven that he isn't a big time quarterback, so West will have to do his part like he has the past three weeks.  We all know Fat Andy loves to run the rock and as long as he gets Chacandrick at least twenty touches the Chiefs will win and so will your fantasy team.

BBW - A.J. Green (Bengals WR)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

I wanted to love the Bengals.  I actually did for a couple of weeks after the Red Rifle shut me up, but I'm glad to see the real Bengals are back.  The team led by the clueless coach and the weirdo quarterback is finally back to normal.  Unfortunately for a really talented receiver the Bengals will Bengal.  A.J. Green has some real talent, but I fear he's just starting to feed into the loser mentality.  That fumble in the final seconds against the shitty Texans proved this fact for me once and for all.  Also, Green will not be facing a mediocre defense this week, he's got one of the toughest corners to get room against in Patrick Peterson.  Cards smell blood and will once again turn the Red Rifle into the Red Pea Shoota so Green will suffer.  It's tough to do, but sit 'em.

Moped Ride of the Week - James Jones (Packers WR)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

It's not his sex life that has Aaron Rodgers struggling as of late. It's the fact that James Jones has been M.I.A.  No one thought that James Jones was going to be anything this season, but with all of the injuries to the Packers receivers and seeing that Randall Cobb is clearly overmatched as the number one guy, Jones has been a refreshing story.  Or should I say he was a refreshing story.  He had six touchdowns in during the Packers 6-0 start to the season, but has only amassed three catches for 59 yards in the three game losing streak.  I would hope that Mike McCarthy sees these numbers and looks to get Jones into the game plan.  If that fat bastard doesn't then I know A-Rod will find his guy and get him into the end zone for the first time in awhile.

Filthy Fitz Lays the Wood

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I feel filthy doing this but I have to. I dealt a 2016 3rd round pick for Dez this week in a league where I manage my dime piece's team and what that means is I'm officially all in on Dem Boys the rest of the way.

My relationship with Jerry's squad couldn't come at a more opportune time as the undefeated Tony Romo makes his return from injury. With the straight fire that Tony is tweeting out, it's safe to say that Tony is fully aware of the task at hand. He's not heading out to South Beach to kick the rust off. He's heading out to South Beach to kick off this run for the NFC East and to let my boy Dez throw up the X. 

  

Cowboys 27(-2.5)  - DOLPHINS 17


In continuing with my current filthy ways I have to get back to work with my boys in green. It's been real tough sledding as of late for Gang Green. They've dropped three of their last four and are an even more upsetting 0-3-1 against the spread during that span. It's been a tough stretch for a devoted Jets fan/wagerer and the Houston Texan led TJ Yates is just the script the doctor prescribed to help heal our woes.

Jets (-3) 24 - TEXANS 10
p.s. I'm buying it down to 2.5 because Jets.

-Fitzgerald

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FantasyFitz's Week 11 Minaj A Trois

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Viagra Play of the Week - Latavius Murray (Raiders RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

While Lat Murray's been in a TD slump over his past three games, his 5.2 yards per attempt during the slump (4.7 on the season) has this fantasy owner feeling optimistic. The Raiders have Crabs, AC/DC and the aerial attack hogging the scoring this season but with a RB friendly Detroit on the schedule, expect Latavius to finally get the opportunity to do the scoring.  

BBW - DeAndre Hopkins (Texans WR)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

League leading target rate smarget rate. Revis Island is out to prove to the doubters that Revis Island is still a no fly zone. Stay away TJ.

Moped Ride of the Week - Tyrod Taylor (Bills QB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

This one's for you Ben, Brees, Eli and Johnny Football owners. Three quarterbacks have scored over 20 fantasy points (ESPN Standard Scoring) against the Pats and that weirdo beard rocking defensive coordinator this season. Andrew Luck, Eli Manning and wait for it....Tyrod Taylor. Tyrod came out the fantasy gate hot this year but the hype train seemed to derail after his week 5 injury. With Tyrod back under center for the last two games, the Bills are looking like their back on track with two divisional wins but TT's fantasy points haven't followed suit. With plenty of rest, and plenty of motivation from his single white female of a head Coach Rexy, the former Hokie will be able to pick it pick it up pick it up. Who f*cking tonight? 

-FantasyFitz 

Clay's Got A Pack Of Dogs In Week 10

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3 and 1.  Only team the Pats haven't beat in the NFL since 2008.  The only team to beat Tom Brady in the Super Bowl.  Oh yea and they did that TWICE.  A lot has been made of the the Giants being the Patriot kryptonite and I believe every damn word of it.  I've seen Eli and TC shock the world twice.  I've seen them play their starters in a game that meant nothing against an undefeated Pats team.  All of this is in the Patriots head.  I will be in the building and this will be my first time I'll be watching a Tom Brady game in flesh and blood since TB12 beat them Jets in Gillette in the 2006 playoffs.  Well Tom, this isn't Gillette and these aren't the Jets.  Just like it 42, Eli orchestrates a miraculous final drive and finds his number one recover in the back corner of the end zone for the victory.  No need to buy any points, the GMEN win out right.

Giants(+7)-31 Patriots-27

Poor Joe Flacco.  This former elite quarterback officially has no one to throw it to.  Kamar Aiken will get his targets and catches, but it won't work.  He's just not ready to carry the work load that Steve Smith Sr. has taken so far and even with Sr. playing well the Ravens haven't.  On the other side of the field the Jags have been playing well and just losing.  Just like the Texans, the Jags are still alive in the division race and going on the road to Baltimore isn't as intimidating when they don't have the likes of Ray Lewis, Haloti Ngata, or Terrell Suggs.  The Jags offense will continue their impressive run and will put up points against this weak Ravens squad.  They will win out right.


Jaguars(+5.5)-35 Ravens-21

The Cards are a better team.  Seattle has proven that they are beatable at home this year.  And I'm hearing that Marshawn will sit?  Ummm, Cards by a million (or four) and yet another one of my dogs win out right.

Cardinals(+3)-21 Seahawks-17

-Clay

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