Coach Fitzy helps the Cavaliers

Photo credit: Top left-@dewaynewade Instagram, Top right-GC Images
Bottom left-@kehlani Instagram, Bottom right-wwe.com

As the Cleveland Cavaliers prepare to host Mr. Stickum and the Houston Rockets tonight, there's not much advice I can offer them for their on the court game plan. Off the court, I can definitely be of some assistance. Four members of the Cavaliers are in dire need of some love advice, and I'm here to give it to them. 

Starting point guard Kyrie Irving found himself trending worldwide yesterday, after the Ovo singer PartyNextDoor posted a little in-bed hand-holding with Kehlani. Kyrie isn't sweating this one, and everyone needs to relax. Before saying "bye" to instagram, Kehlani shed some light on the situation by basically saying Kyrie had too many other bitches. Classic misunderstanding. Everyone thinks you're getting played, but the truth is that you're not fucking with each other anymore because she got tight that you had too many side dimes. Happens all the time. 

My advice to Kyrie would be to just stay the course. As the sexy AF Mia Khalifa pointed out, he's not taking the L on this one...

@miakhalifa on twitter

The other Cav dealing with a past relationship is their leading scorer LeBron James. LeBron misses dillydicking with DWade, and he doesn't just want to get back with him. He wants to get back with Dwayne, and he wants Melo and CP3 in the sheets with them. Here's my advice to LBJ (sorry Francesa)...opt out and leave. I want to say that if I was a Cavs' player or fan, that I would be able to put up with your bullshit...because it does seem like you offer them their best chance at a championship...but I can't say that. There comes a point in every relationship, that no matter how great the fuck is, it's not worth the fuck that you're really getting. You're the classic immature fuckboy who doesn't know how to treat their teammates and fans. Hold another press conference...give them the old "it's not you, it's me" (which is true, for the first time ever), and just move on. 

While Kyrie and LeBron are dealing with past relationships, J.R. Smith and Kevin Love are in need of some advice with potential relationships. Miley asked J.R. if she could get the pipe after the game the other night at the Garden. J.R., you go hit that shit brother. There aren't many dudes out there who are crazy enough to handle that wrecking ball, but you're definitely one that can. Shoutout to Miley too for knowing her audience. J.R. was the only dude on the floor that night crazy enough to give her the D. 

The Dirtiest Player in the Game gave his blessing for K Love to have relations with his daughter Charlotte. I'd advise Kev to pass on this one, and it's not because I'm more of a Becky or Sasha guy. Charlotte could for sure get it. But Naitch is too involved for me already. Just imagine being upstairs with the Diva's champ and you got "the stylin', profilin', limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin' n' dealin son of a gun" downstairs wooing his face off. Try getting it up with that shit going on. Similar to playing with LeBron, it looks like a good idea for #0, but it's not where he belongs. 

Kyrie, LeBron, J.R., and Kevin...follow Coach LeBron's Tyronn's game plan on the court. But if you're looking for love and happiness off the court, take Coach Fitzy's advice. 

   

-Fitzgerald

p.s. I have no issue with PartyNextDoor rocking a Kyrie jersey. We all know that if a jersey looks fly, you rock that shit.  

@RapGenius on Twitter