What About the Dogs?

Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS

As you get to know your boy Fitzgerald readers you're quickly going to learn that there is three things that I hate. The first is douchey Head Coaches, the second is douchey Quaterbacks, and the third is West Coast teams traveling East for a 1:00 PM eastern standard time kickoff. When those three things meet, it's easy sledding for Fitzy and the entire NYMWS franchise and fan base. Well folks, get ready for that usual bank account erection Fitzy's been giving you. Clay's beloved GMEN are hosting the San Fransciso 49ers  as 4 point dogs at Jet's Stadium this Sunday for a 1:00 PM eastern standard time kickoff. 

Now don't come at this blogger/podcaster with all that three straight NFC Championship mumbo/jumbo talk. This ain't my pre-pubsent 49ers with Joe Montana or Steve Young or Coach Walsh filling the ever important roles of Quarterback or Head Coach. Instead we have Jim Harbaugh (who seems to be looking to pull the old "puerto rican pull out" on his coaching career in San Fran) and Colin Kaepernick (who is more concerned with being an instahoe than a star quarterback)filling those important roles. These two are a match a made in heaven. Heck, Harbaugh ought to go the Rex route and get some ink to show his loyalty to his boy Kaep. I'm sure Colin can recommend a good tattoo artist. So what we have here is our douchey Head Coach (Hardouche), our douchey Quarterback (Kaep) and thank you whoever makes the NFL schedule this  'rice and roni' treat plays at 1:00 PM eastern standard time visiting the east coast. 

The only sketchy part of this whole equation is that the GMEN suck the big one. They got smacked around by Beast Mode and Russel last week in Seattle and I definitely don't think this 3 and 6 football team is any better than their record presents them as. But I do believe Big Blue is ready to follow Coach Coughlin's latest mantra and STAND TALL. Rashad Jennings is finally coming back and even if he is limited he should be able to give Mr. ELITE the veteran help he needs on this crappy offense. There is also no shot that anyone in this 49er secondary can cover ODB (or O-BJ), so look for him to help the GMEN win us all some shekels as well. 

Now I'm not going to get crazy. I'm taking the points. If this thing drops to 3, buy the .5 because I as much as I think the GMEN pay Perry off and win this thing out right, I also think there's a good chance they can find a way to lose by a field goal. 

GMEN 24 - 49ERS 20 (currently at +4 for Big Blue, but make sure you get it at more than a FG or buy the hook at +3, J.I.C)

-Fitzgerald

p.s. Speaking of douchey QBs, remember Jeff Garcia and his smokebomb of a wife...

Photo credit: www.playerwives.com

Break Down the Blog Episode 2 / Check the Scoreboard

Photo credit: eyecatchingtattoos.com/kesha-tattoo / Filter: NYMWS

Week 2 of NYMWS is in the books and the NYMWS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLDDDDDD got together to #breakdowntheblog on Episode 2 of the NYMWS Break Down the Blog Podcast. 

NYMWS BREAK DOWN THE BLOG EPISODE 2

CHECK.THE.SCOREBOAD

NYMWS Week 2 Scoreboard 

Fitz's Ws: Lay the Wood, OVA

Fitz's Ls: .....what Ls???? (HA!) 

Clay's Ws: Viagra POW 

Clay's Ls: What About the Dogs?, Moped Ride, BBW

NYMWS Week 2 Overall: 3-3

Fitz: Wagers 2-0, Fantasy 0-0

Clay: Wagers 0-1, Fantasy 1-2

NYMWS Lifetime Overall: 6-7

Fitz: Wagers 2-1, Fantasy 2-1

Clay: Wagers 1-3, Fantasy 1-2

Thank you to all of our readers, listeners, followers and likers for another great week! 

-CLAY & FITZY

WHAT ABOUT THE DOGS(CATS?)-Clay's MNF Edition



Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS

Folks, I am a man that stands to his convictions and takes heat when it is deserved.  To say that my Sunday was a complete an utter bust would be gentle(even though I rectified everything Sunday night thanks to Fitzy) because I really shit the bed for all you lovely fantasy foozeballers, but I am here to make it up to you on this beautiful Monday.
The Eagles come in flying(see what I did there?!?!)atop the NFC East with an impressive 6-2 record and an even more 4-0 record at home.  They suffered an enormous blow last week when their young stud QB, Nick Foles, got his collarbone snapped by JJ Watt and company in Houston.  ENTER SANCHEZ.  Mark Sanchez came in relief last week in impressive fashion and delivered the W in his first appearance as an Eagle.
All of us New Yorkers know The Sanchize and most us hate The Sanchize.  I gotta be honest here I am not one of those people.  First of all I'm a USC guy, ya know before Pete Carroll became the devil out there in Seattle, and I agreed with the coach in that Sanchez needed more time in college.  Sanchez had immediate success in the NFL going to 2 straight conference championship games with the Jets and seemed like he he was shutting all haters us.  But unfortunately he regressed and that vaunted defense that propelled the Jets in his first couple of seasons became pedestrian at best.  Sanchez got run out of town and signed a one year deal to be a back up.
Many things came out of his time in New York.  Some of us think of the butt fumble,

Photo Credit-Stephen Douglas via thebiglead.com

or eating hot dogs,

Photo Credit-gifsoup.com

or even dancing half naked with 2 hot chicks

Video credit-thesportsbastards via YouTube

That being said, Mark, has really seemed to mature recently and his choice to sign in Philly with a high powered offense and an unproven starting QB.  Smart move and now he has his time to shine.

But enough of the accolades to my guy.  The fact of the matter is that somehow the Eagle are favored by 7.5(!) tonight over the Carolina Panthers.

The Panthers are struggling this season but they have fire power on offense and a defense that has a lot of talent.  Cam Newton is a guy that shows up in big games and its time for him to show up in the 2014 season because this guy has been MIA.

Superman finally takes off the suit and tie tonight and the Panthers stun the DeMeco Ryan-less Eagles at the Linc.  Lets just hope those classes Philly brauds don't get all Philly on us and steal some more prosthetic limbs tonight.  I mean it is Veterans Day tomorrow you animals so take a night off would ya??

Panthers(+7.5)-29 Eagles-28 

-Clay

PS

Yes I think the Panthers are going to win straight out, but don't be a schmuck; take the Panthers with the points.

Fitz, Aaron and Jay make you money with the OVA on Sunday Night Football

Photo Credit-Patrick E. McCarthy(Newsday) /Filter-NYMWS

Chicago Bears 30, Green Bay Packers 38.....OVA 54 

Sunday Night Football heads out to Lambeau Field tonight as the Green Bay Packers host the Chicago Bears in a NFC North divisional matchup. Both teams come into this one off of their bye weeks and have to be chomping at the bit to get back onto the football field following the Week 8 butt whoppings they both received. 

Aaron Rodgers and the Pack were on a bit of a roll before the Week 8 loss to the Saints. A-Rod had everyone relaxed as his high scoring offense led the way to a four game winning streak for the Packers. With help from Cobb, Jordy, and Lacy, expect Mr. Discount Double check to put that high scoring offense back on display tonight. 

Jay Cutler and the Bears are having a tough season out in the Windy City and all that comes with a tough season has begun to rear its ugly head. Brandon Marshall is reportedly frustrated and has begun the finger pointing that normally comes from a losing locker room. Reports have his bromance with gunslinger Jay Cutler on the rocks and I think the Cutler-Marshall duo will look to prove to America tonight that their relationship is just fine. Cutler and Marshall should get assistance from Forte and Alshon in getting this talented offense back on track. It will most likely be in a losing effort, but I think they put a thirty spot on the scoreboard tonight. 

Off the field, both Aaron and Jay sport stone cold foxes as their arm candy. Aaron is dating actress Olivia Munn and it sounds like the two have found the perfect balance between work and getting their hump on. Jay is married to one of the stars of this blogger/podcaster's favorite reality show, Kristin Cavallari. Although I was undoubtedly Team LC when it came to where STE---PHENN should stick his wood, I still was a big fan of Kristin back when the hit show was airing on MTV. Thanks to the good folks from The League on FXX we were able to get Kristin back on TV last year with Jay, the baby Cutlet and her breast milk. 

So NYMWS readers, let Aaron and Jay's play grow your bank account by scoring some points tonight......and let Aaron and Jay's ladies grow your wood by looking sexy as hell...

Photo credit: dunk360.com

Photo credit: royoyo.com

-Fitzgerald

Clay's Week 10 Fantasy Minaj

Photo credit - hitfix.com / Filter - NYMWS

Viagra Play of the Week - Matt Ryan (Falcons QB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

Folks, let me set the record straight: I hate Matt Ryan.  I hate everything about the guy.  I mean he went to Boston College and there's not too much worse than that because if anyone chooses to live in Boston for 4 years of your life I lose a lot of respect for you.  

I also take issue with him wearing #2.  He's a quarterback in the NFL, not a shortstop in the MLB.  And if his plan is to be like Derek Jeter or something along those lines, he's doing it all wrong.  Matty "Ice Cold" has to win in the playoffs to be anything like the immortal shortstop, so again I lose a lot of respect for him there too.

All this being said, Ryan will explode yet again against the lowly Bucs in Tampa today.  Earlier this year Ryan dropped the hammer at home going 21-24 for 286 yards and 3 TDs in a 56-14 trashing on Monday Night Football over Tampa Bay.  The numbers will be even bigger today against this terrible Buccaneers defense that can't stop a nose bleed just as long as "Ice Cold" didn't have too much fun last night....

Photo Credit-Mojomajik9 via saintsreport.com

BBW - Jamaal Charles (Chiefs RB) 

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

I understand that I am going out on a limb here and I am most likely going to be wrong in this preDICKtion, but sometimes in this business you got to take a chance.  And taking a chance on one of the best defenses in the league at home isn't that bad of a gamble.  

We all know that defense is the key to the game of football, I mean just look at last years Super Bowl, but it could even be the key to the game of life.  Some 20 or so years ago O.J. Simpson had a Dream Team of defense attorneys and somehow was found not guilty in a slam dunk case.  On the flip side, Alex Rodriguez, was given some of the most piss poor advice from his defense attorneys in his recent drug charges and is currently screwed.    I mean he's still got all the money in the world and will always look great as a centaur 

Photo Credit-Weed Against Speed via Deadspin.com

But sometimes the deny till ya die defense(Curic & Francesa) is not the way to go.

So, in conclusion, a good defense wins in football and life and  you have to sit Jamaal Charles today.

Moped Ride of the Week - Scott Chandler (Bills TE)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it) 

How many other wood layers out there are basically fucked this week with their stud tight end on BYE???  Yea you all know who I'm taking about non other than the porn star slaying, Yo Soy Fiesta loving, Gronk spiking Rob Gronkowski.  As soon as my main man finally gets into a groove BOOM here comes the Pats off week.  Such bullshit.  But whatever, these as the weeks that you make your money in fantasy leagues.  

We're going to stay right with those Buffalo Bills , not on the defensive side, but head over to the Kyle Orton led offense and look at their veteran  tight end Scott Chandler.

This was an easy moped to pick up in my estimation for 3 reasons:

1.  Chandler has 3 TDs in 3 career games against the Chiefs.  I am forecasting 2 TDs for the big man today.

2.  Injuries.  Supposedly Sammy Watkins and Fred Jackson will play today, but they aren't 100% healthy and they will most likely just be decoys.

3.  Orton trusts him.  The QB has thrown the ball to his big TE over 5 times a game since he took over the helm over there in Buffalo.

(Oh yea and I'll just throw a fourth at you real quick because that what we do here)

4.  The Chiefs have given up 7 TDs to tight ends this season.  'Nuff said.

Set your lineups and get the W this week will ya!

-Clay

Fitz Lays the Wood (WITH HELP FROM THE KISS METHOD & HIGHER POWERS)

Photo Credit-Zimbio/Filter-NYMWS

It’s Fitz’s turn to Lay the Wood this week and your boy is going to follow the KISS method with this one. Let me first apologize to all those people out there with bad taste in music that were hoping this had to do with that weird band that wears leather pants and face paint. It couldn’t be further from that. What we have here is the old KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID method. Let’s follow Clay’s lead from last week and lay the wood out in the Wild Wild West.

Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos are on the road for the second straight week as they travel to “The Black Hole” to play their AFC West foe, the Oakland Raiders. Now I know it’s always sketchy to lay the wood on the road, but it’s real easy to look past that sketchiness when you get Peyton off a loss, against a no win team, that is coached by the wildcat genius Tony Sparano. Like I said, we’re following the KISS method here.

Since Peyton signed with Denver in 2012 he has been a favorite in all four matchups against the Raiders and he has never lost any wood-layers any money at 3-0-1 ATS (He’s covered at -10 twice, -6.5 once and his lone push was at -16.5). If you look back to matchups BP (BEFORE PEYTON...I do that right Clay?), the Broncos were actually in a bit of a struggle in the series, having lost four in a row to the boys in black and silver. That all changed on November 6, 2011 when everyone’s favorite virgin signal caller started the Week 9 matchup for the Broncos.

Hold on a minute...exactly three years ago to the day I’m writing this blog...Tim Tebow beat the Raiders as the Broncos QB...Tim Tebow last played for the Jets were wildcat genius Tony Sparano was the Offensive Coordinator...That was Tim’s last year in the league because his Offensive Coordinator couldn’t figure out how to use him...Tony Sparano is now the Head Coach of the Raiders...I don’t know if I should be freaked out or celebrating since I’m going to be rich off this play...because forget the KISS method..we got Tim Tebow and the higher power in our favor while laying the wood in this one!

FINAL = BRONCOS-41 RAIDERS-16 #LAYTHEWOOD (Currently at -11)

-FITZ

p.s. How pumped is Jameis Winston that the Jets and the Raiders are currently in contention for the 1^st overall pick? They are clearly the only two franchises dumb enough to pick his dumb ass 1^st overall.

p.p.s. The only people weirder than these KISS guys with the face paint is these weirdos out in "The Black Hole". 

Photo credit: www.csnbayarea.com/sites/csnbayarea/files/raiders-fans-black-hole.jpg

Break Down the Blog / Check the Scoreboard

Photo credit: eyecatchingtattoos.com/kesha-tattoo / Filter: NYMWS

Week 1 of NYMWS is officially in the books and the dynamic duo that makes up NYMWS got together to #breakdowntheblog on Episode 1 of the NYMWS Break Down the Blog Podcast. 

NYMWS BREAK DOWN THE BLOG EPISODE 1

CHECK.THE.SCOREBOAD

NYMWS Week 1 Scoreboard 

Fitz's Ws: Moped Ride, BBW

Fitz's Ls: Viagra POW, What About the Dogs? 

Clay's Ws: OVA

Clay's Ls: UNDA, Lay the Wood

NYMWS Overall: 3-4

Fitz: Wagers 0-1, Fantasy 2-1

Clay: Wagers 1-2, Fantasy 0-0

Thank you to all of our readers, listeners, followers and likers for a fun first week! 

-CLAY & FITZY

FantasyFitz's Week 9 Fantasy Minaj a Trois

Photo credit - hitfix.com / Filter - NYMWS

Viagra Play of the Week - Ahmad Bradshaw (Colts RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

If you're looking for that guaranteed erection in your team's point total this week look no further than the best running back on one the most potent offenses in the league. Ahmad Bradshaw returns to Jet's Stadium Monday Night for a revenge bang against the team that cut him in February of 2013. Number 44 is coming back to town as a scorned lover and apparently this one has a little extra juice. I expect Ahmad to do his best Lil Jon impression and aww skeet skeet his love juice all over his ex squad's field this week.  

Besides the whole revenge bang theory, I love Ahmad this week also because Clay's beloved GMEN are one of the worst teams against running backs on the fantasy football field. Further more, as The Talented Mr. Roto pointed out in his week 9 Love/Hate, Big Blue is allowing a big 11 yards per reception to opposing backs this season.  Who's tossing the rock out there in Indy these days? Oh yeah, that's right, the next big thing Andrew Luck. Fantasy Playas, Get Ahmad in your lineup this week as he flaunts his new hotter bitches Andrew and Chuck to his old tired hoes Eli and Tom. 

BBW - Frank Gore (49ers RB) 

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

What you're getting here is what most would call a fantasy bust for the week. However, the good looking duo that makes up NYMWS refuses to relate a bust to something unsatisfying. This week the guy I'm warning you about is 49ers Running Back Frank Gore. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm all on board with Clay's Call to lay the wood with San Fran but I just don't think Gore is the man that leads them in doing so.

The St. Louis Rams are a great fantasy matchup on paper for a running back so I do think a 49ers RB does some fantasy damage in this game. Coach Hardouche seems to be looking to get the younger, fresher Carlos Hyde more carries and I think Carlito has a coming out party in this one. I also think you get a big game from Kapernakus here so there might just not be enough ladies at the dance for Frankie. If you're looking for full satisfaction in your lineup this week, consider alternatives to Gore. 

Frank Gore is ranked 17th overall for Running Backs this week on ESPN. I'd drop him 10 Spots to 27 and I think Carlos Hyde is a top 25 play at the position.  

Moped Ride of the Week - Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins QB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it) 

A-Rod, Stafford, Cutler and Matty Ice owners (and all others looking for a week 9 plug and play signal caller) this one's for you. The Former Aggie Ryan Tannehill host Phil Rivers, the window throwa, Sunday down in South Beach. 

It seems Ry-Guy and his offense are a little frustrated headed into this one and are looking to get off to a faster start this week. I think versus everyone's favorite window throwa Miami is going to need to score early and often. Rivers and the Chargers will dictate the game flow and that will force Tannehill to be a playmaker for the fish. Most of the plays he makes will be in the air but I think he also has the legs to help your fantasy team on the ground as well. He's a top 10 QB option in week 9 for me. 

It's kind of ironic to recommend Ryan Tannehill as my Moped Ride of the Week because off the field my man definitely isn't riding a moped.....

Photo credit - Roger K. Snider/http://www.dailymail.co.uk

-FantasyFitz