The Offseason - Thank You Willie

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ProFootballTalk - Michael David Smith - Willie Colon: If Fitzpatrick leaves, Geno is ready to start for the Jets

Offensive lineman Willie Colon is considering calling it a career after spending the last three seasons with Gang Green. Injuries aside, the Rutgers alum has been an outstanding Jet. As he rides off into the sunset (or a media gig which he's going to be awesome at), we all owe Willie a big thank you. I appreciate all the great work he did on the field, but what he recently did on ESPN Radio is what we owe him the biggest thank you for. 

Both the Jets and Fitzpatrick are playing hard to get, and Mikey Mac just brought his wingman to the party. Oh hey Ryan you think we need you? Well the same guy who said Geno couldn't satisfy our needs last year thinks a "humbled" Geno is ready to be successful. I'm still in the camp that thinks Ry is the right guy at the right price, so I'm not really ready to consider IK's punching bag as a replacement just yet. But Geno as a dance partner to get Fitzy to our number...I'm all for that. Good lookin' out Willie. 

-Fitzgerald

Coach Pikiell is Leaving the 631 for the Dirty Jerz

ESPN - Jeff Goodman - Rutgers to hire Stony Brook's Steve Pikiell as new coach

It's time to say farewell to the most successful coach in the history of the Seawolves men's basketball program. Multiple sources are reporting that Steve Pikiell is being hired to fill the head coaching vacancy at Rutgers University. 

There is no way any man on this green earth wants to leave the beautiful Suffolk County to live in the Dirty Jerz but we all get why Coach Pikiell has to do it. You can't turn down a move to the Big Ten Conference. The women on Long Island might be much more attractive than the foul mouthed Jersey broads, but the Big Ten is a bonafide dime piece compared to the American East, and the reigning American East champion coach has earned a shot at a dime piece. It doesn't matter that Rutgers basketball sucks major D right now. It doesn't matter that they begged the Hurley brothers to double team them before asking you to marry them. All that matters is that Steve Pikiell is now listed as the current head men's basketball coach of a Big Ten school on wikipedia. 

Congrats Steve. LI will miss you. 

-Fitzgerald

p.s. I'm not sure who the candidates are to replace him at Stony Brook but I'd like to toss my hat in the ring....to coach home games only. 

Politican With Fitzy

Say what you want about Donald's game plan in his campaign to become the Republican candidate, but you can't question the man's game plan to take the sexy AF Megyn Kelly down. The Don's been working this one for a while and it is playing out just how he drew it up. He pulled her hair, he told her she has kudies and now her parents are calling the school complaining that you pantsed her on the playground. Poor Douglas Brunt is sitting at home knowing that this whole "Make America Great" thing is just coy by DJT to break up his happy home. This presidential race might be lined up to be a complete disaster but Trump's race to a bang sesh with the Fox News Channel fox is inching closer to a success story. 

-Fitzgerald 

What About Ben & Mike On The Road?

Photo Credit - lehighvalleylive.com / Filter - NYMWS

Two AFC North foes meet today as the Cincinnati Bengals play host to Pittsburgh Steelers. With playoff implications involved for both teams we have a big game on our hands. When it comes to big games and these two teams, the NYMWS formula is simple folks....

Big Ben + Mike Tomlin > Red Headed Andy + Marvin Lewis

The Andy and Marv combo will ultimately win the division with their cushy lead over Ben and Mike but this won't be the week it happens. Pitt continues their push for an AFC Wild Card spot with a big win today.  

Steelers (+1) 31 – BENGALS 24

-Fitzgerald

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FantasyFitz's Week 14 Minaj a Trois

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Viagra Play of the Week - LeSean McCoy(Bills RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

Shady is throwing the ultimate revenge banger this week and he's got the perfect wingman for the party. Rexy is going to feed right into the noise and he'll ensure the Eagles all time leading rusher gets his against Chip. 

BBW - DeMarco Murray (Eagles RB)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

We have a messy situation with our Viagra Play's "replacement" in South Philly. With most of us fantasy footballers playing in our playoffs or to get into our playoffs there's no way we can put the now reported 4th string Eagles running back in our lineups. But hey, as bad as it for DeMarco, at least he can still say he fucked Clay's chic...

Photo credit - https://twitter.com/BrennanClay24   

Moped Ride of the Week - Tim Hightower (Saints RB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it) 

With Mark Ingram down there's touches for the taking out in NOLA and it looks Timnado is in line to take them. Once the news came out about Ingram we all picked a side. Some of you we're Spiller guys like Clay, and some of us we're Hightower guys like yours truly. I thought I'd watch this one play out for a week, but with @RapSheet reporting on twitter this morning that Timmy's getting the load, and the state of the RB position this season, I'm time traveling back to 2008 and starting the 10 TD fill in. 

-FantasyFitz

Lay the Wood With Fitzy Against Clay

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For the first time in four years I think Clay is a total d-bag. Clay's Big Blue plays host to my Gang Green today in the battle for NYMWS supremacy. 

It's going to start on defense for Coach Bowles and the Jets today as the objective should be real simple. Stop OBJ. There's two ways of going about this. The first is for that bad ass defensive line to overwhelm this pedestrian GMEN offensive line so Eli doesn't have time to get the ball out to OBJ. The second is for the entire secondary to just cover OBJ. With no Revis, no Marcus and aging Cro there's no one man who can cover OBJ by himself left in this secondary. I don't care if we double him, triple him or let Pryor lay the smack down on him, there is no way the Jets defense can let OBJ be OBJ today at MetLife. TB knows the deal and he'll make sure one of the two above scenarios takes place today. 

With OBJ contained, the victory will be in the favorites hands with Fitzy's offesne doing what Fitzy's offense does. B Marsh will B Marsh all over this suspect secondary, his nudest partner in crime ED will keep satisfying Jessie James and Clay's favorite Jet Chris Ivory will go Ivory Mode all day.  


Fitz (-2.5) 20 - CLAY 10

-Fitzgerald

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p.s. Make sure you spank the pig for me Clay. 

Fantasy Fitz's Week 13 Minaj a Trois

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Viagra Play of the Week - Lamar Miller(Dolphins RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

With another loss to Gang Green comes another coach firing for the Phins coaching staff. Bill Lazor is out as offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach Zac Taylor is now handling the OC duties down in the South Beach. This is Zac with no H or no K's first crack at calling an offense but it shouldn't take a genius to figure out what to do with the Miami offense right now. We are 7 games into the Dan Campbell era and in 4 of those 7 games Lamar has double digit fantasy points (ESPN Standard). What do those 4 games have in common? Double digit rushing attempts for Lamar Miller. What do the 3 games without double digit fantasy points have in common? Single digit rushing attempts for Lamar Miller. Zac's been around this team so he knows what he has on offense. A QB with a phat contract and a hot wife, a nice receiver in Jarvis, a decent receiver who almost died thanks to Tannehill serving him up to Pryor, and a balling ass running back who's underused. Zac you get Lamar the ball. And fantasy footballers you get Lamar in your lineups.

BBW - Brandin Cooks (Saints WR)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

This is basically a my bad for last week's Turkey Day Dez call. This Josh Norman thing is real. The man is truest of true shut down corners in the league right now and this week Mr. Cooks seems lined up for the shut down. After a slow start to the season the Saints second year wide receiver had strung together a few nice performances heading into their week 11 bye. In their return from the bye Brandin with an I struggled, as much of the NOLA boys did, against a surging Texans defense. Don't be fooled by the Drew Brees at home effect. You have to let Cooks ride the pine this week for your fantasy teams.  

Moped Ride of the Week - Austin Seferian-Jenkins (Bucs TE)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it) 

Schefty is reporting that our boy Famous Jameis is getting his tight end back this week and I want ASJ on your radar Gronk (and Eifert) owners. If you owned Gronk, you owned Gronk. You didn't have a back up and anyone you scooped off the wire is a dart through at this point. The Scott Chandler thing is cute and all but I'm not in love with it. I think you need to get creative in Gronk's absence and ASJ is just the creative I'm talking about.   

-FantasyFitz

Steel City Dogs On The Road

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With Russell Wilson taking selfies with  Ciara and posting them on Insta, and his coaching staff just ripping him for it, could it get any worse for this guy?

I do believe he did guide them to 2 consecutive Super Bowl appearances and from what I know about him he's an all around good guy.  I may not be a fan, but shouldn't his coaching staff?  Pretty embarrassing stuff from Pete Carroll and his coaching staff, but it's nothing new for a loser like himself.  Pete's a cheater, sore loser and overall bad dude.  Hey Pete keep thinking 9/11 is an inside job and that your big money QB sucks, I'm sure that helps morale.

Doesn't help that Seattle welcomes in the big time offense led by a healthy Roethlisberger and AB84.  The 2015 version of the Legion of Boom has been boomlet and the only thing that will be able to stop this offense would be Russell Wilson's chastity belt.

Steelers(+3.5)-28 Seahawks-27

-Clay

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