The U.S. Open Minaj - Fitzy at the Cut

The round two cards are all officially signed. Lets check Fitzy's scorecard after the first 36. 

Red Guys

The winner is supposed to finish over par, but these guys have a legit shot to post a red number...

Dustin Johnson 12/1...EAGLE (-4)

Dustin has it all working through two rounds. Paulina's boo is the only player who has carded two rounds under par. He sits atop the leaderboard with a one shot lead #nuffsaid.  

Rickie Fowler 25/1 ...TRIPLE BOGEY (+11, MC)

The slump continues. Bad job by me. He'll be back. I just don't know when. This one hurts.  

Hideki Matsuyama 30/1...TRIPLE BOGEY (+12, MC)

Hideki never got it going playing along side Sergio and Dustin. The opening round 74 wasn't awful, but the two-double-bogey second round 78 was. Now I'm feeling some type of different way about Hideki. That's a bad way BTW. 

Fitzy's Red Guy - Rory McIlroy 7/1...TRIPLE BOGEY (+8, MC)

That awkward moment when my "Red Guy" double bogeys his last hole to miss the cut. It should not have came down to that though. I was expecting Rory to bring it. He got it going a little this morning with a 31 going out, but the 40 coming in squashed any hope. My mistake, I apologize (Jerry Recco voice). 

White Guys

When we think of white, we think of Fitzy's beautiful white down comforter with the highest of high thread counts. These guys have high odds, which means they're #SLEEPAS! If you thought we were taking this White Guys thing somewhere else, well then you my friend are a racist. 

Danny Willett 40/1...PAR (+5)

At +5, it looks like I am being too generous by giving myself a par, but I was encouraged by the even par second round. I can see the Masters' champ finishing somewhere around even, which might be an interesting place to be when it is all said and done. The Grand Slam talk should only be the softest of whispers right now, but I won't pronounce it dead just yet.

Billy Horschel 80/1...BOGEY (+6)

The dopest twitter handle in golf is just playing okayyyyy. The bookmakers got him right at 80/1. I don't think he has any major moves in him, but at least he is still playing. If you are a tier-pooler, you are not hating Billy still being around, but you aren't bragging about having him either.   

Jamie Donaldson 200/1...DOUBLE BOGEY (+8)

Being different and choosing Jamie Donaldson as your tier 4 guy is all well cool until JD goes out and posts a couple of Nick Mangold's on his way to missing the cut. Good idea, bad result. 

Jeev Milkha Singh 1000/1...TRIPLE BOGEY (+15)

Woof. I know what you are thinking, "Fitzy dude, you should be a little easier on yourself, the guy was 1000/1." I appreciate it, but no, I can't be. The NY Morning Woodsporters deserve better from me. My guys can't be missing the cut by nine strokes. I don't care if they are 20,000/1.  

Fitzy's White Guy - Sergio Garcia 40/1...ACE (-2)

Oh Fitzy, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind. It's bloggers like you Fitzy! Just click this and enjoy. This could finally be the one.  

Blue Guys

Blue balls warning - These guys will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more...

Jason Day 13/2...PAR (+5)& Jordan Spieth 8/1...PAR (+4)

Both guys are still around, but if you picked them you expected better. At the moment this is a fine call by me. However, if one of them goes out and posts a red number in round three, we could very well be changing this PAR to a DOUBLE BOGEY. 

Justin Rose 25/1...EAGLE (+8)

If Rickie and Hideki are bad calls, this is a good call. I told you so. Insert tongue out emoji.  

Phil Mickelson 25/1...BIRDIE (+7) 

Too bad, so sad. As I said, I was rooting for Lefty, but as an insider, I couldn't recommend investing in him financially. Did I kill that joke? Was it even funny the first time?

Bubba Watson 40/1...BOGEY (+5)

Ugh. His opening round made us look bad, and he tried to help us out with a poor second. He's well off the lead, but if I'm not ruling Willet out, I can't rule this tool out. Sorry, that was mean. I should take it back. If only my keyboard had like a delete button or something. 

Jim Furyk 80/1...TRIPLE BOGEY (-1)

Bad, bad, bad one here by me. Good for Jim. -1 is good playing out there right now. I don't think he keeps it up, but I had him for dead before the thing even started, so we have to score it what it is. 

-Fitzy Woods

The U.S. Open Minaj - Red, White & Blue

Are you running out of all that cash we won you with The Masters Minaj? Well have no fear folks. It is time for the year's second major, and we're back with our second major minaj. Inspired by our always entertaining, and rarely helpful, Fantasy Football Minaj, we bring to you, 'The U.S. Open Minaj a Trois - Red, White & Blue.'

Red Guys

The winner is supposed to finish over par, but these guys have a legit shot to post a red number...

Dustin Johnson 12/1...DUE, DUE, DUE, DUE, DUE, DUE. A year after his three-jack on Sunday's final hole, it's going to take some stones to make this play. When it comes to the U.S. Open, you have to be ready to fight power with power, and DJ's game is as powerful as they come. Hidden by all his major failures, is the sketchy stat that it has actually been over a year since DJ's won a tourney, period. But his recent strong play and exceptional talent are enough for me to stay aboard the 'Dustin win's one of these major things eventually train.' Hey Paulina, I saved you the seat next to me.

Rickie Fowler 25/1...With three missed cuts in his last five starts, everyone's favorite jogger-rocker is in desperate need of a slump buster. When you're slumping with the ladies, Fitzy always recommends taking down a big beast to bust that slump. Well Oakmont is certainly a big beast, so Rickie is all set right? Yeah, I know, it's a little bit of a reach. But I'm not backing down. I said it in the Master's Minaj, he is winning a major this year. 

Hideki Matsuyama 30/1...With Matsuyama I'm choosing to have a forgetful short-term memory, and a good long-term memory. Before missing the cut at Memorial earlier this month, this 24-year-old was putting together one heck of a season. He's one of the few guys in the field who is good enough tee-to-green to fox with what the USGA and Oakmont are about to rollout. With three made U.S. Open cuts (which includes a top 10 and a top 25), in three appearances, I'm feeling some type of way about Hideki's fourth U.S. Open. That's a good way BTW.  

Fitzy's Red Guy - Rory McIlroy 7/1...Nike's most decorated active golfer is rightfully one of the favorites to win this week. Rory made a recent putting-grip change, which led to him having one heck of a putting week at Memorial en route to his T-4 finish. While Rory's changed to the conventional putting-grip, Pat McCroy does ask that he still use the restroom of the putting-grip that is listed on his birth certificate. It's going to take the right makeup of mental and physical ability to match this trepidatious test that the USGA and Oakmont are going to present this week. The 2014 Champion has that makeup. Rory won his open back in May, and now he is about to win ours. 

White Guys

When we think of white, we think of Fitzy's beautiful white down comforter with the highest of high thread counts. These guys have high odds, which means they're #SLEEPAS! If you thought we were taking this White Guys thing somewhere else, well then you my friend are a racist. 

Danny Willett 40/1...Our Masters' champ slowed down the hype-train with a missed cut at the Players, but I'll never forget the way he made me feel on that April Sunday. Okay, okay, I hear you screaming "Fitzy, come on dude, does D-Dubs really have a shot at this thing?" The answer is yes. That tee-to-green game we saw at the Masters was the truth, and he is sounding awfully comfortable at Oakmont. I won't be shocked if we're talking about the Grand Salami when the next major minaj is dropped on the blog. 

Billy Horschel 80/1...As much as you want to highlight the fact that putting wins championships, this challenge that the USGA has prepared is forcing us to believe that it is going to take one hell of a week striking the golf ball to find some success at Oakmont. The 2014 FedEx Cup Champion can strike the ball with the best of them. Last time the U.S. Open was in PA, Horschel went out on Friday and hit all 18 greens in regulation, on his way to a T4 finish. BillyHo_Golf hasn't sniffed the lead like that in his last two Opens, but he has played well with two top 25s. I can see the former Gator getting his flat stick hot enough to ride his stupid-fresh ball striking ability into contention on Sunday. 

Jamie Donaldson 200/1...Tier poolers, this one's for you. He's either in tier four or tier five depending on your pool. If you find him in five, circle him right now and stop reading. If he's in tier four, I'm circling him because other people probably aren't. You have to take a shot and be different when you're tier pooling, and JD's just the guy you want to go down that different path with. He's a polished player, who has made the cut in only one of his three U.S. Opens, but I'm encouraged by his work at last week's St. Jude Classic.  

Jeev Milkha Singh 1000/1...So Jamie Donaldson is a tier four guy in your pool, and you have never heard of any of the cats listed in tier five. Allow me to introduce you to four-time European Tour Winner Jeev Milkha Singh. The only Singh in the field just squeaked in as a first alternate following the International Sectional Qualifying in Europe. What do I like most about Jeev Milkha? Well he's a writer just like me. Give his piece that he wrote for the Gulf News a read, then go circle him as your tier five guy, and you'll be over the moon too!  

Fitzy's White Guy - Sergio Garcia 40/1...With his recent win at the AT&T, I've had to make a little room on the El Nino bandwagon. But don't worry, thankfully Sergio has made a career of being Sergio, so there will always be plenty of room on the wagon for you. His ball striking is as good as ever right now (first on tour this season in G.I.R), and his putter has been good enough. Does good enough putting win U.S. Opens? No not usually, but never forget the NYMWS Sergio Garcia disclaimer, "Fizty is the president/only member of the El Nino fan club." 

Blue Guys

Blue balls warning - These guys will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more...

Jason Day 13/2 & Jordan Spieth 8/1...I can't be mad at you for picking them, but I don't see it happening. I don't like all this stress that Day is talking about, and I just don't think Spieth is where he needs to be, to be Spieth. That has to be the deepest, most thorough analysis of my blogging career. Tough to ever count these guys out, especially the defending champ, but I'm all in on my Red Guys.

Justin Rose 25/1...I'm normally a Justin Rose fan, but I'm not into this 25/1 Rose coming off a back injury, with a shaky putter. 

Phil Mickelson 25/1...I'd love nothing more than to see Lefty finally win this major, but it's not happening. Even off a runners-up finish last week, he's still not ready to battle Oakmont and this field. I'll root for Phil (and you should too), but as an insider, I can't recommend investing in him financially. Also, Tiger wins another major before Phil does. Hottest of hot takes.   

Bubba Watson 40/1...No. Not here. Not ever. Definitely not on this site. He's too wild off the tee, and this rough is too wild for him to score when he's hitting it all over Oakmont, PA.

Jim Furyk 80/1...I get it. Jim is a good enough guy, he has won a U.S. Open before, and at 80/1 you are thinking he's worth a flyer. But he's actually not. Fly with Horschel if you need that 80/1 flyer in your life.

-Fitzy Woods

The Metsies Blog - What Happened To Our Harvey Day Happy Place?

Photo Credit-Howard Simmons (NY Daily News)/Filter-NYMWS

The Metsies Blog went right to Pod this week due to last night's Harvey nightmare. Give it a listen folks! 

Mets(-114) 3 - NATIONALS 1  

-Fitzgerald

The Metsies Blog - Washing Off The West Coast Stench & Bulletproof Bartolo

Photo Credit-Howard Simmons (NY Daily News)/Filter-NYMWS

The Metsies were back in Flushing yesterday hoping to rid themselves of the losing stench that they brought back from the Left Coast. 

Hours before the boys took the field to battle their NL East rival, they were treated to a bit of good health news during a Sandy Alderson presser. More important than the on-the-field injury list, Sandy underwent a second planned surgery that he described as 'fantastically successful'. NYMWS wishes Sandy all the best as he continues on the road to recovery. Sandy transitioned from himself to Long Island's own, Steven Matz. The Ward Melville stud and Mets ace is going to be just fine. It was nothing a little cortisone injection and some rest couldn't cure. With no ligament or structural damage, he'll be back on the bump this Friday.

Not all the health news was good news though, as everyone's favorite streaker, Lucas Duda, and the Captain, David Wright, were scratched from the lineup last night. Sandy called Duda's absence a manager's decision, which forced TC to quantify the move. TC explained that holding Lucas out would give him three days to heal some back issues, since he'll sit with the southpaw Gio Gonzalez pitching for the Nats tonight. Wright's situation seems a bit more complicated on the surface, but when you get down to the bones of it, we should be prepared for days like yesterday. David's spinal stenosis isn't going anywhere, as he said in spring training, so a late scratch shouldn't be as alarming as it was yesterday. This is life now in bed with David. He is day-to-day today, and everyday. All we can do is love what's left of him, and hope he's right by saying TC saved him a trip to the DL.

After all the pre-game fireworks, the Mets began their series with Daniel Murphy's new ball club. Murph said all the right things in his press conference (aka he didn't take any shots at gays), and he received his NL championship ring, his video tribute, and a much deserved ovation during his first at bat. Following the ovation, Murph popped out to kick-off his 1-for-3 night at the dish. The 1-for-3 performance dropped Daniel's batting average under .400, so it looks like the Mets made the right move by not resigning the "net negative." 

Thor was the Thor we need (don't want...need), as he fanned 10 in 7 scoreless innings to earn the series opening victory. Max Scherzer matched Noah's strikeout total, but it wasn't enough because the Grandyman led things off with a solo-shot, and Conforto tacked on an insurance solo-dinger in the bottom of the 3rd. That Scherzer guy should probably try to just strike out 20 if he wants to win. 

While Noah and his beautiful locks graced the back cover of the Post today, tonight's starter, Big Tolo, found himself on the cover of the other side of the paper. 

Big Sexy (s/o to KFC, buy the shirts) now has two strikes against him in the cheater count. One on, and one off the field. Most men would be considered finished down 0-2 in the cheater count, but not Tolo. Sure this sucks, no one likes a deadbeat Dad, but I'm pretty sure Bartolo's bulletproof at this point. And I'm also sure there's two-sides to every story, with all due respect to the children looking for support in this case. The fans will still be firmly behind the fun-loving Colon tonight as he turns in a big performance, unfazed by today's news. There's guys that can't survive 'Double Bedder' cover stories, and then there's Bartolo Colon. Let's go Mets! 

METS(-109) 4 - Nationals 2  

-Fitzgerald

Happy Born Day Clay

Important day on the NYMWS calendar, as one half of the tag team champs turns 29 years old today. Happy born day to my brotha Clay. For those of you who aren't down, that means happy birthday to my brother Clayton. 

Clay shares his birthday with some of our favorite athletes like Prince Fielder and Doug Christie. With some of our favorite musicians like Ghostface Killa and Billy Joel. And of course, with one of our favorite reality stars, the stone cold fox Audrina Patridge. 

Credit: Beiny/Wright/WENN.com - Filter: NYMWS

Now the fucked up part about Clay's birthday is that it is also one of our arch enemies birthdays. Bolts GM, Steve Yzerman, turns the big 50 today. Today's game just got real. Forget elimination. Forget do or die. Forget the chance to move on to the eastern conference finals. You know both squads want to give their guys the ultimate birthday gift with a victory today. Expect a lot of passion on display today, as the Bolts play for Stevie Y, and our Isles play to give our guy Clay the only gift he really wants today. Forget that "cake, cake, cake, cake, cake" that Mrs. Clay is going to give him later. Forget that "Happy Birthday Daddy" card that his new little puppy is going to give  him today. All Clay really wants is for JT and Greiss to fire up the comeback train with a decisive victory in Tampa. Give it to him boys. Make him scream "YES! YES! YES!" - like only you can. 

Clay...

What if I told you....that I love you. You're not just my blogging brother from another, and you're not just my partner in podcasting. You're my best man, and my best friend. I wish you the happiest of birthdays, and don't let all these mother's spoil your fucking day. I would have loved to celebrate your birthday together, but when I asked what you were doing for your birthday you responded by texting "eating ass", and that's just about the only activity that we don't do together. Hopefully I see you soon. Heck, maybe we'll even pod together again sometime. Happy birthday you bougie mick.

Love,
Fitz (xoxo)  

The Metsies Blog - Pinch Yo Anus (& The J.I.C. Isles Round 2 Preview)

Photo Credit-Howard Simmons (NY Daily News)/Filter-NYMWS

In the seventh inning of last night's game TC sent Dickie to find Yo Anus, and thankfully he did as the pinch-hitting Cespedes blasted a dinger to tie the game at three. The Grandyman and the Captain took over from there, and the Metsies earned their first come-from-behind win of the season, while extending their current winning streak to five games.

The momentum off of this most recent victory is hopefully just what the Mets leader in losses, needs to finally turn in a Harvey-esque performance on the bump tonight. If The Dark Knight struggles, hopefully Logan 'All I Do Is Win' Verrett is available out of the pen tonight to bail him out. The Mets are rolling right now, and ya gotta believe Harvey wants in on the action, so expect a night off for Verrett as Harvey makes "Harvey Day" happy again.

METS(-220) 4 - Reds 1  

Normally the Metsies blog ends there, but not today. There is another "Blue & Orange" professional squad in NY that needs some NYMWS lovin'. My better half Clayton is supposed to handle the Isles playoff blogging, but he's a little tied up on the "Left Coast" right now. He seems to be busy riding hot air balloons, hitting various vineyards, and having lunch with famous comedians, so allow me to toss you a little J.I.C. (just in case) Isles Round 2 Preview just in case Clay doesn't have time.

The series kicks off tonight for the visiting Islanders in the Sunshine State once again. A tiny bit of panic began to creep in yesterday when Stamkos was on the ice, skating for the first time, but both Steveo and the Bolts are claiming that he's not ready for game action yet. Stamkos' absence didn't slow Tampa down from making quick work of the Red Wings, so the Stamkos-less Lightning aren't an opponent to take lightly. Ben Bishop is a giant, and he does a nice job between the pipes. Nikita Kucherov is a stud winger, and he's been getting some help from Tyler Johnson and Alex Killorn offensively. They have Cally and a few other ex-Rags who also contribute. We'll have to see if the questionable Anton Stralman is able to suit up. The Bolts were the runners-up to the JT sweepstakes in 2009, so some of the story will be about that year's number two overall pick, defenseman Victor Headman, trying to slow down our captain. Although Headman had a great first series, I'll tell you how that story ends, the Lightning will be wondering what could have been as Tavares lights them up as he does everyone else. 

The winning formula will continue to be JT, Greiss, and the Isles outworking their opponent. Any hope of riding our momentum against their time-off will have to come tonight, because after this the next three games of the series will be over a nine day span. The schedule is probably more of an annoyance to us fans than it is to the players, so don't expect it to derail the Isles. This team is up for anything. Look for the Isles to get the first win tonight, and the final win of the series in game six. 

Islanders(+135) 2 - Lightning 1

-Fitzgerald

p.s. Play them both individually, but also get your "Blue & Orange" parlay in folks! 

MJ Out Here Just Trying To Win The Next Nassau

You have to respect him, and I always have. Michael Jordan is a savage. He is the greatest competitor ever, and his latest contribution to Wright Thompson's 'The Secret History of Tiger Woods' piece just let us all know that he hasn't lost a step. 

While his kicks are still keeping this blogger's shoe game on point, and his crying face is dominating the internet, MJ's main focus is currently lining the vulnerable T-Dubs up to win this weekend's money match. With all due respect to Wright's piece, because it is one of the best I have read in a minute, what two-three is really doing here is trying to get into Tiger's head. After Tiger reading about MJ telling him....while saying that he can't tell him...that he's not going to be great again, you have to believe that the match is already set up for a smooth $500,000/$500,000/$1,000,000 Nassau. MJ's got TW right where he wants him. GOAT!

-Fitzgerald 

The Offseason - I Want it PAXT Way

Photo Credit - Bleacher Report/BET Filter- NYMWS

I try to leave the NFL Draft breakdown to my peers Kiper and McShay, but my attention was immediately grabbed to the subject today when I saw this draft prospect on The ESPN...

My immediate reaction was..."OMG..What is this?! Where is his suit? What is that dopey chain! What a buffoon!" But all that changed when my main man Louis Riddick tweeted out his mock...

THAT'S MY QUARTERBACK!

You will have to forgive me folks. I've been living in my "the Fitz deal gets done at some point world", so much so that I've completely dismissed alternative quarterback options. But now I got my eye on Marshawn's baby cousin Paxton. Apparently he's real raw, and also there is a real shot now that he's gone before the 20th overall pick, so the logic in my head is screaming for me not to fall too fast. But I can't help myself, hearing him having some fun talking about his BSB look on 'Russillo and Kanell' has me feeling some type of way. 

Paxton, allow me to serenade you...

I don't know what other NFL teams do to make you cry

But I'll be there to make you smile

I don't have a fancy high pick

To get to you I'd wait 19 boring picks

I don't care if they buy you nice things

Does their gifts include B Marsh, Forte & The Deckers

But if you were my QB

I'd make it so we'd never be apart (after you grow behind Fitz)

But the 20th pick is all I have to give

Without you I don't have a QB of the future

I wish I could move up and draft you

But I don't want to be the Eagles and mortgage my future

See you at 20, hopefully. 

-Fitzgerald