RoadHawks in the Night Cap

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The week 7 Sunday Night Football matchup features the class of the NFC West. Expecting father (congrats on the bang - s/o PMT), DangeRUSS Wilson leads his 1st place Hawks into University of Phoenix Stadium to clash with the 2nd place Cardinals. Coming off a Monday Night Football beatdown of our beloved Jets, Carson and Bruce are looking to keep the momentum rolling to close the gap in the division. Unfortunately, for a Cardinals team that is not rolling on all cylinders, despite picking-up back to back wins, Coach Carrol's team seems to be the easy play tonight for all of us playas. 

As Carson Palmer continues to battle injuries, the AZ passing attack seems to be a far cry from the 2015 supergroup that it was. Clay outlined it pretty well in his Minaj, where he put the other Fitzgerald in his BBW spot. While the passing game has disappointed, David Johnson has kept the offense from stalling all together by doing his thing out of the backfield. Expect the badass Seahawk defense to key on Johnson tonight, which will cause the Cardinal offense to severely underwhelm at home.  

Russell and his group will throw a twenty-spot up on the Cards to follow their defenses' lead to victory. Go Hawks!  
  

Seahawks (+1) 20 - Cardinals 13

-Fitzgerald

p.s. It's Carrie time!

p.p.s. Don't think we forgot about you Mrs. Wilson! 

It's the ROC in the Building!

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The Jets and their 1-5 stank are home at MetLife today, as their disaster of a 2016 season continues. We now have the QB change away from our twelve million dollar man and the locker room fighting, as the latest lead stories forcing us to ask ourselves how we are so far removed from last year's ten-win Jets. There is no doubt that the tough early-season slate contributed to the mess, but both Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Jets have not done themselves any favors. Fitzpatrick has been left to force the issue all year, and that has led to him having a pick party in most of the games. Other than a Thursday night in Buffalo, Coach Bowles and the staff have left plenty to be desired on their end. The play-calling and decision making have been far from ideal this season. You toss in the injuries, and the surprisingly anemic defense, and you find your way to this current chaos that Gang Green is in.   

He is not the savior we want, and he is probably not the savior we need, but Idzik's 2013 second round pick is back to try to save us. After Coach Bowles did the old flip-flop, Geno Smith is once again, starting under center for our miserable New York Jets. Can my Alternative Plan D for life without Fitz  turn the season around with a win over Mr. Elite and the visiting Ravens?

Unfortunately, there is no way for us to answer that question without seeing how this one plays out today. I am still okay with us being in the position of having to ask it though. You can rightfully sit on either side of the argument. You can think Geno sucks. With more talent than he has ever had around him, you can think that Geno is finally in a position to succeed. Both arguments are valid, and at 1-5, before we let Geno walk out the door, we deserve to officially see what side of the argument is truly correct. I am even willing to be a sicko and play Gang Green today to find out which side wins the argument. 

Give me Hov's client and the Jets to top the injured Ravens by a field goal to earn their second win of the season. It's the ROC in the building!  
  

JETS (-2) 20 - Ravens 17

-Fitzgerald

Clayton's Week 7 Fantasy Minaj

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Viagra Play of the Week - Allen Robinson (Jaguars WR)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

It was a brutal start to the season for everyone's Cinderella pick, as the Jaguars were basically the Jaguars, but after back to back wins Jacksonville is back!  The Jags are luckily in the AFC South and only 1.5 games out of 1st place with an acceptable 2-3 record.  If Jax wants to be officially back they need to get their Wikipedia Loving QB on track and he needs to find his #1 WR.  Robinson should feast on the Raiders secondary and if Bortles can stay on his feet they can STEAL THE SHOW together!

  

BBW - Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals WR)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

Let's face it, Larry Fitz just keeps doing his thing even though it seems like he's been in the league for the past 20 years, but Carson Palmer has been pretty average/bad this year.  This BBW is all because of the QB not the University of Phoenix Grad.  The Seattle Defense has started to look more and more like itself as the season has gone on, coupled with the fact that Richard Sherman never gets called for PI means a long day for Fitz (Larry not my guy)

Moped Ride of the Week - Quincy Enunwa (Jets WR)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

Geno Smith is back!  I love that he's being mentioned as a Moped in a lot of places this week.  I still think that he's going to throw at least 2 picks and will probably fumble as well, but I do think he will do some things right for once.  With Beandon Marshall triple teamed he will actually make an intelligent football decision and find the wide open Enunwa on the other side.  Look for your boy Quincy to pull in a TD or 2 with close to 100 receiving.

Check the full roster for me below and let's win some cash!

LINEUP

POS	PLAYER	OPP	FPPG	SALARY
QB	Philip Rivers	SD@Atl	20.0	$6,500	swap out
RB	Spencer Ware	NO@KC	18.5	$5,800	swap out
RB	James White	NE@Pit	11.2	$4,600	swap out
WR	Quincy Enunwa	Bal@NYJ	11.6	$4,600	swap out
WR	Allen Robinson	Oak@Jax	14.1	$7,300	swap out
WR	Tyrell Williams	SD@Atl	12.9	$4,400	swap out
TE	Delanie Walker	Ind@Ten	10.7	$4,900	swap out
FLEX	Julio Jones	SD@Atl	21.6	$9,200	swap out
DST	Chiefs	NO@KC	10.2	$2,600	swap out

All da Love
-Clay

Tally Ho! Early Morning GMEN Lay Wood

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What a long strange week it's been for my New York Football Giants. First, the most eligible bachelor, OBJ, in the biggest city in the world, New York, got engaged during last Sunday's wild win over the Ravens.  If that was the only wild thing that happened this week I think I could handle it, not sure about Big Mike, but I could.  Unfortunately this was a watered down version of what wild actually means.

Josh Brown, the Giants 37 year old average kicker, who has already been known to be a woman beater, has now been outed as a complete an utter psycho.  Brown's comments from his DIARY are beyond disgusting and pathetic.  Everyone has seen them by know, so to get into specifics is dumb, but you get it, this is a black eye for a franchise that has always been the gold standard for excellence.  As for the NFL, this is status quo.  The NFL conducts these domestic violence investigations worse then when I used to lie in school and my parents would do a little snooping and catch my lies easily.  So much needs to be done by the league and the Giants to get the fans back on track with football.  I really believe that DV is one of the 3 factors for the drop in NFL ratings joining the Election, Trump is a master of ratings, and over saturation of the product, simple economics supply>demand.  In conclusion I hope Josh Brown gets help.    I think his life has been completely fucked up and I don't wish that on anyone, but the fact that he brought down everyone else in his life because of it is just plain wrong.  I feel terrible for his ex wife Molly and everyone other woman Josh manipulated, not to mention all of his "friends" that he manipulated, but it's time for Josh Brown to disappear.  Good riddance Josh, I'm sick of your excuses, we've all seen millions of people make themselves better after much worse.  You chose to use your experience as an excuse and for that I have zero respect for you and everything I stand for, now I just hope my team finally just cuts ties with you altogether.  The team may have your back at the moment, but NONE of the fans do.

Back to the fun stuff.  The GMEN are across the pond in for the first time since 2007 when they snuck past the Miami Dolphins 13-10 in the first NFL game in London ever.  That game was a disaster due to the pitch field being a nightmare for everyone's footing.  10 years into these games overseas, it seems like most of the footing issues have been solved and the teams can mainly focus on just playing the game, but of course this is a wrench thrown into those plans.  Every other game in London has been played at the famed Wembley Stadium, but this game is going to some rugby stadium called Twickenham.  This werries me, but doesn't werry me enough not to lay some New York Morning Wood.

The Giants were weird last week.  Came out and laid a complete egg in the 1st half, but OBJ took over in the 2nd half after getting "injured" early in the game.  The GMEN need a full 60 today and they need to dominate.  Everyone knows that the Rams are a "physical and nasty" team, but they're also coached by Mr. 7-9 and you never know what type of team will show up from the St. Louis LA Rams.  Bottom line is that Eli will outplay Case Keenum and the Giants billion dollar D will shut down 2016 unimpressive version of Todd Gurley.  Giants come together as a family and control the game from the opening kick.

Giants-24(-3) Rams-10

PS  Can't wait to see what Odell has in store for the net this week.  Yes, it's old, but it's going to make 1pm on WFAN an absolute must listen.  Lets gooooooooo!

-Clay

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FantasyFitz's Week 7 Minaj A Trois

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Clay's Redemption Monday

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First things first, my mistake I apologize.  It was a long weekend of wine tasting, rockin' the mic for karaoke, and rooming with 2 couples that just love to fart.  I'm not talking about little squeakers, I'm talking about full man farts.  I respect a good fart, but when the ladies are present I don't think it was too appropriate.

On to the reason for my apology.  Obviously I didn't blog yesterday.  A huge bone head move on my part.  Totally irresponsible and I'm not proud of it.  Luckily I got the hardest working guy in the game that always has my back because we're team guys here at NYMWS.  Not only is Fitzy tossing up blogs a couple of winners for the folks (gotta get him off the Jets wagon like the soon to be Mrs. Fitz has said), he's doing videos for our award winning Fantasy Football league.  Dudes just a hard worker and I'm glad he's on my side.  

So the reason for my no show is simple: I got sick.  Not the sniffles, not the flu, not a migraine, no sir.  I was violently ill on the toilet.  A really cool 350 pound broad I used to work with calls the sickness I had double barreling it.  Basically I was sitting on the can but also required a garbage can in front of me.  Get it?  That's the way your boy spent his entire Saturday night from 3am to 7am.  I was dehydrated as fuck and couldn't hold anything down until late last night.  It's a miracle I'm able to blog right now, but I am fighting through it for you and for Fitzgerald.  I'm still not sure if it was all rancid gas coming out of these animals anus' or if it was the mix of 6 bottles of wine, 1 margarita, 7 IPAs, 1 Cuban cigar, hit of the devil's lettuce and the shot of Jameson.  Maybe a mix of everything who knows.  All I know is that it's not a good look for me with Fitzy's Bachelor Party on tap for this upcoming weekend, but I'm glad I got it out of my system so I'll be able to go extra hard for best looking bachelor since Jesse Palmer.

Any who.  Let me give you a winner since I wasn't able to give all of you the Sammie Coats Moped ride or the Matt Ryan Blue Balls Warning because of my sickness.  I love Jameis and the Bucs tonight on the road against the Panthers.  No Cam for Carolina is a huge problem.  Obviously that's not breaking news, but it had to be said.  I think Derek Anderson should be able to find Kelvin Benjamin a bunch but will it be enough?  Not in my mind, especially laying 5.5.  The Panthers will get 2 touchdowns from NYMWS's own Mike Tolbert (Toll-bear; it's French), but that's about it.  Jameis takes over and the Bucs solid D stops a drowning Carolina offense.  Take the number for big cash but make sure you throw a couple buc(ks) on the money line, huh?

Bucs(+5.5)-24 Panthers-14

-Clay

P.S.  My ex-GF got married this weekend to a Panthers fan.  No I'm not bitter, I would just love to bottle up those tears from that fat bastard after his team loses to a crab leg stealing crazy mofo and he realizes that he ruined his life with that miserable gal on his arm.

P.P.S.  This will be a low scoring affair so you know what that means, get wild and pound that UNDA 45.5 like I am to make sure I'm able to afford this BANANAS weekend I got coming up

America's Team Defends the Title Against The Ging

The NYMWS America's Team Title is back on the line today, as the champion Cowboys play host to the Bengals at Jerry's World. Andy Dalton will be the only ging on the field today, but he will not be the only ging in the building. Coach Garrett of the reigning America's Team is also a ging, and you have to believe he will continue to rely heavily on his "Rookie Twins" to keep the title in the Big D. 

The talented Bengals are by far the toughest challenger that the Boyz have defended their championship belt against so far. With that being said, Coach Lewis and Dalton do unfortunately carry the tag of not being able to win the big one, with years of quick playoff exits on their resume. Look for that unwanted tag to continue to follow Marvin and Andy, as they leave AT&T Stadium without the title.

For the second week in a row, give me Dem Boyz to retain their title.       

COWBOYS 20 (+2.5)  - Bengals 17

-Fitzgerald

Fitzy Lays The Wood With Luck

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True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from London and your General Manager goes on a radio show, and blames your contract he gave you for his inability to build a defense. It stops right there, and continues right here where I tell you Ryan Grigson is a donkey. 

In all seriousness, I get what he was getting at. Unfortunately though, as I sit here with my quarterback tossing the rock to the other team on a regular basis, I have to join the flock that is all over Ry-Guy Grigs for his comments. The equivalent of what Grigson did here would be for Jay Cutler to come out and say that when you get to bang Kristin Cavallari on the reg, it is then going to take time build yourself into a winning quarterback. It is blasphemy, and none of us want to hear it!

I can tell you who really does not want to hear it, the Chicago Bears, who are rolling out Brain Hoyer against the Colts today. While Hoyer is gaining support, mostly because he is not Jay Cutler, the truth still remains that Brian Hoyer is not anyone's long term answer under center. Andrew Luck, regardless of the cost of doing so, remains everyone's long term answer under center. 

With Hoyer and the Bears in town, it is bounce back time for the Colts after their spot of tea in London. Lay the wood with the cap-wrenching Andrew Luck against Brian Hoyer.  
  

COLTS (-4) 27 - Bears 16

-Fitzgerald

p.s. Hey Grigsy, any interest in trading Luck for the entire Jets defense?

p.p.s. I would also trade for Cutler, and let him start quarterbacking the Jets tomorrow. 

p.p.p.s. Since we mentioned her...

Is Fitzy Ready to Be a Married Man?

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As you probably know, I am engaged. As you do not know, because you are not invited, my wedding is less than three weeks away. So the clock is ticking on me learning to be a married a man. 

After the Hawks laid the smack down on the Jets last week, we were on our way to Rosh Hashanah dinner (Shanah Tovah folks!), and the future Mrs. Fitzgerald laid it on me. She turned to me and said..."Man babe, your readers must be pissed. You keep telling them to bet the Jets, and they never win! You better stop doing that." 

Look at my girl! Looking out for the folks! So obviously, like any married man, I should fall in line. I should follow my lady's orders to "stop doing that", right? Wrong! This is a men's blog, where men can be men. As a man who roots for the Jets, the most manly thing I can do this week is not listen to my woman, and tell you to take Gang Green getting noine (Sour Shoes/Gary voice) in Pitt! Noine, noine, noine, noine, noine!  

JETS (+9) 31  - Steelers 30

-Fitzgerald

p.s. Love you baby! You're my favorite! 

FantasyFitz's Week 5 Minaj A Trois

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Viagra Play of the Week - Tom Brady $7,500 (Patriots QB)

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

He is back. He is pissed. He is playing the Browns. They could have made the price $20,000, and I would have found a way to work him in. Your resident Jet fan is all-in on TB12. 

Viagra P.S. - Talented backs have been able to score fantasy points against the Broncos defense, so $5,000 for Devonta Freeman seems like something we should all be doing. With all due respect to Tev Coleman's sickle cell situation, I think that it lines Freeman up more work. Devonta is a legit RB1 in all formats. Coming off a bye, and playing at Lambeau, I love me some Jordy Nelson for less than $8K. 

BBW - Lamar Miller $6,300 (Texans RB)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

While we still do not know exactly what SKOL means, I can confirm for you that we are still all about the SKOL at NYMWS. The Vikings defense is still currently the official bad ass defense of NYMWS, and I am not about to pay $6,300 for a back going against them. In this RB ugly world we are living in, you are still starting Lamar in a season long, but there is no need to pay his DraftKing price. I expect him to finish the week outside the top 15, and his price tag suggest otherwise. With that being said, I do not hate the idea of buying low on L-Mills after he struggles this week. 

  

Moped Ride of the Week - James White $3,900 (Patriots RB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week, but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

Since TB12 is back, that means the role of productive pass catching Pats' running back is also back. With our guy Neon Dion Lewis still kicking it on the PUP list, that leaves James White to star in that role this week. Besides Brady's return, the other two things working for White are that the match up is favorable, and that Clay's fellow weed smoker LaGerrette Blount is a little nicked up. Blount carried the load sans Brady, so expect Billy Belichick to let the passing game rest an injured Blount with his veteran signal caller back under center. Sneaky slick QB/RB stack with Brady and White.  

Moped P.S. - Since Brady is a heel, expect the $4,100 Chris 'Hollywood' Hogan to finally come out rocking the 'NWO Black and White', and that should lead to fantasy relevance. They went out and got him for a reason. It seems like this Kyle 'The Red Nose' Rudolph thing is really happening, so for $3,600 it is worth rolling the dice to see if the Vikes tight end can score in his fourth straight game. This Giants' wideout Odell Beckham Jr. seems like a guy who is worth a dart throw. He has not scored yet this year, but, like, he might. I play the millionaire maker, so MNF does not qualify, but I ain't scared to roll Jizz Rodgers out with Sims and Dougie doubtful. 

-FantasyFitz 

The Metsies Blog - Wild Card Time

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Bring on the Giants. I don't care that it is an even year. I don't care that MadBum is on the bump in an elimination game. In the words of one of the songbirds of my generation, Wayne Hardnett Jr., I ain't never scared!

Our Metsies have deified the odds all season, and the crazy thing is, that besides the even-year garb, and the Bumgarner effect, they do not even need to defy the odds tonight. With our 6-6, 240-pound ace prepared for the spotlight, the Mets could very well match the expected Madison-gem with one of their own. After Thor holds up his end of the bargain, the Met bats should be able to grind out the necessary run total behind YoAnus Cespedes and Asdrubal Cabrera to keep playoff baseball alive in Flushing. With both members of the NY Morning Wood Sports Tag Team Champions of the Worldddd at Citi Field, give me the Mets in a tight one. 

METS (+103) 3 - Giants 1

p.s. Look out for the two Riveras to shine. Something about Riveras in New York, in the postseason, makes me tingle. 

-Fitzgerald

Prime Time Clay Loves His Monday Night Dogs

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These fucking Vikings!  The Giants can never get rid of these purple freaks.  It seems like every year since the Giants got #ELIte they take on the Vikings and they get their ass kicked.  I'll never forget the game in December in 2007 when Eli threw about 27 picks and it seemed like their season.  Obviously it wasn't and Eli became a legend, but he has one flaw in life and it's the Minnesota Vikings.

Normally I'd stay away from this game.  Usually scares the shit out of me, but tonights got me feeling some sort of way.  Let Odell dance, cry, laugh, hit kicking nets, I don't care, it's his night.  OBJ will finally find the end zone and the rest of the offense will be fluid, but the difference in this game will be on the other side of the ball.  JPP and OV are about to take this league by storm from this point forward and show what Spag's D is all about.  I believe in Benny with the good hair(h/t @TheClemReport buy a shirt!) and I believe in this team.  It's going to be too loud for the Vikes anyways.  Giants in a laugher

Giants(+4.5)-28 Vikings-17

-Clay


PS
Anyone know what SKOOL means???  So confusing.

Steelers, Le'Veon Will Smoke KC and go OVA

Photo Credit-Patrick E. McCarthy(Newsday) /Filter-NYMWS

A couple of things got me all sorts of moist about this game tonight: 
1.  The Steelers were thoroughly embarrassed last week in Philly and their offense was nonexistent.  Good news for you terrible towel wagging, black and yellow wearing sons of bitches, my guy Le'Veon Bell is back!  The suspension is ova and this game will be going ova.
2.  The Steelers defense is horrendous.  I think statistically the 5th worst in the league through 3 weeks which doesn't mean that its set in stone, but they will not be great tonight either.  The offense will help them immensely and hold onto the ball a crazy amount just so this terrible unit will not be on the field for even close to the amount of time they were last week.  
C.  The Chiefs showed that they aren't half bad last week, so they won't get shut out, but they will lose this game by a lot.

The Steelers win, but take the OVA with confidence.  


Cue that mfin music!

Steelers-35 Chiefs-17 OVA 47

-Clay

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