Clay Goes UNDA Tom and Joe

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I want to preface this by saying that I do not like Joe Flacco, but the Ravens are not winning the game today, in Gillette Stadium, against the Patriots.  It's just not happening.  I am struggling to figure out if the Pats will win by more than 7 though.  I am just not too sure that's going to happen, so I am going to stay away from the line and go UNDA.

For some reason that doofus Flacco plays well in the playoffs.  Every time he makes it in the playoffs he wins at least a game, and a couple of years ago he brought the Ravens their 2nd Super Bowl title.  On his way to that Super Bowl he knocked off Tom Brady in Gillette, so many "experts" believe that he can do it again.  I say no.  I also think that Flacco, the Ernie looking freak, will be brutalized by the Patriots defense and the harsh New England weather.

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This January Joe garbage has to end and I see Chandler Jones and the rest of this defense doing their part.  Both defenses are big reasons why I love the UNDA today.  They're both extremely physically and very well coached.  I just can't see Tom Brady not being Tom Brady today, especially with Gronk, and his new party bus, having the season of his life.  

Terrell Suggs and that sweet ass of his may get his because he's a monster, but if the Pats can control the man on the other side, Elvis Dumervill, they will be successful.  There's one this that I think everyone knows and that is Tom Brady may be the most intense quarterback the NFL has ever seen.  And when he gets on a roll he's just about impossible to stop.

Look for Belicheck to have a game plan to aggravate the Baltimore offense so much that they only get 1 offense touchdown.  Field goals galore today for Justin Tucker and all that means is Flacco, Suggs, Dumervill, Justin Forsett, Steve Smith Sr., and Torrey Smith will not be singing along with our favorite WFAN producer and they will not "Beat Tom Brady"

Patriots-24 Ravens-16 UNDA 48

-Clay

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Flacco completely out kicked his coverage am I right??

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PPS
"If Brady don't do well, he can still smash out Gisele, that's not too shabby"

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Fitzy Says How Bout them Dogs??

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Wild Card Weekend wraps up with what should be a wild one at AT&T Stadium Jerry's World when the Boys host the Lions later today. We're in for the wildest and most entertaining game of the weekend when Dem Boyz take the field against Matty and Mega. In fact, the only thing wilder and more entertaining than this game that you will watch today is this amazing Taiwanese anime preview of the matchup....

http://youtu.be/HQV4HISN5LI

America's team seems like they've finally figured it out. They have a decent trio of triplets once again in Romo, Dez and Murray. Two thirds of the trio had eventful record setting seasons as the Dallas offense seems to finally have that long desired balance that they've been in search of. Dez broke TO's franchise single season TD record and got all up in Joe Randle's ass for bringing up the whole fighting with Mama Dez thing again. Murray rushed for a league leading yardage total that saw him break Emmitt's single season franchise rushing yardage record and now it appears he didn't bang the fake Mrs. Clay. The record setting duo teamed with a strong offensive line, anchored by Zack "Hmm I'll Pass on Johnny Football" Martin, have allowed Tony Romo to lead them in capturing the NFC East title. 

On the other side of the football, Dallas has surprised as they've put a better than expected defensive unit on the field. Things were looking real sketchy when Sean Lee tore his ACL but Jerry made a trade with Baltimore for the "retired" Rolando McClain. The Boys convinced Rolando to come out of retirement to fill the void left by the Lee injury and he seems to be a perfect fit both on, and off, the field for this squad. Most of Rolando's impact has been in the box so the unit has been good against the run and not as good against the pass. 

The Lions offense has a plethora of talent. Although he was nicked up most of the year, when Megatron is Megatron, he's Cornwallis. And  when Cornwallis is Cornwallis, he's Alexander the Great. Megatron isn't the only receiver to watch in this Lions offense. Superbowl Champion Golden Tate has had Gretzy (99 Catches) year catching the football during his first season in Detroit. The backs are also impressive at catching the rock as Kim K's ex and Clay's boy Joique can create mismatches for opposing linebackers. Even with all these options, the Lions offense and Matt Stafford have somehow figured out a way to finish outside the top 20 in points per game for the 2014 season.

While the offense has underwhelmed, the Lion's defense has been bad ass. Anchored by numb footed Ndamukong Suh, they're amongst the leagues best against the run. Apparently Suh has a real strong Robin in outside linebacker DeAndre Levy. Forgive me for not knowing much about him as I haven't kept tabs on the Lions backers since Long Island's own Stephen Boyd called it career. 

The playoffs haven't been kind to either of these franchises in their last few appearances. The last time either of them won a playoff game was before the NYMWS Tag Team Champions even met. Clay was just some young douchey kid probably wearing kid size cargos and kid size skater shoes and I was torn between dressing in kid size FuBu jerseys or Gap Kids polo and sweater vests. That all ends today though as one of the two has to be the winner here. While I can't tell you which one is the winner I can tell you that the winner doesn't win this thing by a touchdown. Tony and Matt will throw it to their guys, the other teams guys, and create all sorts of other wild plays that we haven't even seen before. This wild Wild Card Weekend finale comes down to a field goal and I'm hoping Matt Prater is the one kicking it. Give me the bad ass defense and underachieving talented offense with the seven. 

Lions (+7) 26 - COWBOYS 23

-Fitzgerald 

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p.s. Someone get Taco on the horn and check the EBDB for me please. Are Romo and his bro-lo eskimo bros? How didn't I know this? Here's a little eye candy for you of Romo with his sexy wife and hot bro-lo.. 

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Clay Lays His Luck(y) Mini-Wood

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There are a couple of constants in life and one that pertains to today's football games and it's that the Bengals do not win playoff games unless my main man Boomer is the QB.  Especially with Andrew Luck quarterbacking the team on the other side.  
In the game that allows you the privilege to play Peyton and the Broncos in Denver next week, the Colts take on the Bengals in Indy today in the last AFC Wild Card game of the weekend.  
No A.J. Green, no Jermaine Gresham for the Bungals?  Shhhhhh I'll pass on them and I'll go with Luck and T.Y. all day.  The Colts defense is no good, especially their run defense, but they can use the dirty box D all day today and embarrass the Red Rifle just like he's used to in the post season.
I apologize for the short post, but it's been a rough morning and I wanted to throw up a short tribute to one of the greatest ever, Stuart Scott.  I've been on record on NYMWS on absolutely HATING ESPN which I do, but what I didn't tell you is that throughout elementary and middle school I' would wake up at 6am just so I could watch SportsCenter with Scott and Rich Eisen.  They changed my life, and helped me understand sports in a fun way.  Scott made me laugh every morning and has inspired me to do what I am doing with NYMWS. This shit is fun.  Sports is fun.  If you don't get that you should not be in the business.  Stuart Scott revolutionized sports journalism, television, and they way highlights are read.  Stuart will always be as cool as the other side of the pillow.  Thank you for the good times and all the love to all of your family and friends.  RESPECT and RIP.

Rich Eisen Tribute to Stuart Scott
SportsCenter Tribute to Stuart Scott
Stuart Scott's ESPY Speech


Colts(-3.5)-33 Bengals-20

-Clay

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Clay Goes OVA in the Steel City

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No Le'Veon Bell, no problem.  Has anyone ever heard of "Big" Ben Roethlisberger, only the leader passer in the NFL this year, and Antonio Brown, only the leading receiver in NFL this season?  Maybe you've heard of Joe Flacco and Torrey Smith, who is finally 100% healthy this year?  Two teams that have prided themselves on smash mouth defenses, come into tonights Wild Card match up at Heinz Field with two high powered offenses.

The Ravens defense has been good this season, I don't think that beast Terrell Suggs, Jimmy Smith, and Ladarius Webb going to be able to completely stop Big Ben.  Not even that aderral head Ngata will be able to do much to slow the Steelers QB.

Neither team has gone over the number the past FOUR weeks.  Folks, this is not a numbers pick this is a straight feel pick.

Joe Flacco will have to shoulder the load if the Ravens want to make a run at the title, so expect him to be tossing the rock tonight.  John Harbagh knows that if Flacco is Flacco he's a 1 time Super Bowl champion, so he can be dangerous.  Unfortunately for Baltimore, when Big Ben is Big Ben, he's a 2 time Super Bowl champion.

Mike Tomlin and the Steelers are going to go back to the old days and have a "Shotgun Saturday Night" and keep Ben out from under the center.  Lets just hope tonights version of "Shotgun Saturday Night" is just as entertaining as Sunny made it...

This one will come down to the final drive and expect a big stop by a not so good Steelers defense be the difference in the game.

Steelers-31 Ravens-30 OVA 44.5

-Clay

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SUNNY!!!

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What About The Dogs Fitzy??

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It's not normal that my PIP and I disagree on things.  I mean we've got the same taste in women-we're Eskimo brothers a couple of times over, we've both been known to be pretty big partiers-the amount of school nights we got shitty are countless, we're both Paul Heyman guys-I mean we both have clients with the same first name, and we both grew up idolizing the great Derek Jeter-YEAAAAHHHHHHHHH JEEEETS!
That being said, Fitzy has his downfalls.  He like blue cheese, the Jets, and doing the Irish goodbye whenever he's in a social setting.  I thought that was it though, but today Fitzgerald has another downfall as he played his HARD WOOD on the 7-8-1 Panthers over the 11-5 Cardinals.
I get that the Cardinals are not the same team they were with Carson Palmer, I get that.  Hell, I get that the Cardinals aren't the same they were when Drew Stanton took over, I get that too.  Ryan Lindley is probably the best example of a third string quarterback, he's smart, quiet, and shows up everyday and does his work.  Lindley is not a good player and his numbers prove that; 9 career games-6 starts-2 TDs, 11 Ints, and 2 lost fumbles in 3 NFL seasons.
Those numbers are startlingly bad and I think that those awful numbers most likely will continue today.  Let me make this clear that I do not think that the Cardinals are winning today, but I do not think that the Panthers are winning by more than a touchdown.  Fitz is right, no QB or RB probably no W, but my brotha from anotha motha forgot about the other side of the ball.
The Cardinals defense is bad ass.  Their secondary is filled with a who's who of names that have been proven players in this league for a long time like the father of 18 Antonio Cromartie, Patrick Peterson, and one of my favorite pot heads Tyrann "Don't call me The Honey Badger anymore" Mathieu.  Cam Newton is a great athlete and a great talent in the NFL, but can he do anything against this star studded defense?  Maybe, but not enough to beat them by more than 7 points.  Oh yea and enough of Jonathan Stewart, he fucking sucks, he's had 3 good games in his 7 year career, he will not be a factor today.  
The Cardinals are 8-3 ATS when DOGS this season, including being 3-1 thefts 4 games of the season.  The Panthers are 2-3 ATS as favorites this season, but have just been 3-5 ATS in the second half of the season even though they've won their last 4 games straight out.
The Panthers have proven 1 thing and 1 thing only this season and that's that they beat the shit out of bad teams.  Sorry Fitzy, but even with no QB or RB, the Cards are not a bad team.

Panthers-14 Cardinals(+7)-12 

-Clayton

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Lay the Wood With Fitzy to Start Wild Card Weekend

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Wild Card weekend begins with the NFL's only sub500 playoff team hosting an eleven win underdog at Bank of America Stadium. The NFC South Champion Carolina Panthers and their 7-8-1 record look to mimic the only other losing record team to reach the playoffs, as they hope to continue their recent four game winning streak into the postseason. Look for Cam and the Panthers to not only keep that streak alive but also to cover the number for all of us NYMWS #WOODLAYAS in doing so. 

With the Panthers currently laying seven it seems like the oddsmakers are begging me to make a "What About the Dogs?" post but I'm not about to fall into that trap. This Panthers defense has finally found their shit. The recent resurgence is highlighted by a bad ass young secondary which has to be licking their chops to face the bad Ryan Lindley. It's unfortunate that it's come to this for the Cards. Their without Palmer, their without Stanton and without Ellington in the run game. Coach Arians and his somewhat awkward/somewhat cool hat game have definitely impressed this somewhat blogger/somewhat podcaster this season but unfortunately I think this season is #OVA for his crew. 

While Cam and his crew have been shaky enough that we'll probably sweat some tomorrow on our path to victory, I'm personally not going to let that effect my enjoyment of the game. The musical guest for the game have been announced and basically it's a who's who of Fitzy's playlist. We got the Grammy-nominated Brian McKnight on the anthem and then things really grow the #FITZWOOD as we get country star Tyler Farr at halftime. Hey, Cam, don't break the wrong heart baby, cover the seven...

PANTHERS 23 - Cardinals 6

-Fitzgerald

Clay's Fantasy Minaj-Championship Edition

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Viagra Play of the Week - Joique Bell (Lions RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

Hmmmm let's think, is anyone dumb enough to not start someone against the Chicago Bears?  The Jimmy Clausen led Bears are in some trouble today at home.  Not just because Jimmy Clausen sucks, but actually the whole team sucks.  The defense can't stop a nose bleed and this coach already has 1 and a half feet out the door.  Look for Matthew Stafford to start the day strong by picking apart this Bears secondary, but once they get up 30 he'll feed Bell until they get up 60 and they finally call off the dogs.  Roll Bell confidently as your RB1.

BBW - Arian Foster (Texans RB)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

The Ravens are the #1 rush defense in the NFL.  They have given up 4 TDs to running backs all season long, including only 2 over the last 12(!) games.  The Texans are starting a guy named Case Keenum, who is their 9th string passer.  Its simple, the Ravens will play that dirty box all day and shut down Foster from doing just about anything today.  You got to play a guy like this no matter what, but don't say NYMWS didn't tell you not to.

Moped Ride of the Week - Dan "Boom" Herron (Colts RB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

In contrast to the Ravens, the Cowboys rush defense is quite weak.  They've allowed 13 TDs to opposing RBs this season and have given up over 100 yards on the ground in 6 games.  "Boom" has clearly emerged as the Colts number 1 back since the injury to Ahmad Bradshaw, and yes for some reason they'll give Trent Richardson a couple of looks, but those rushes won't matter.  Herron can catch the ball and has the breakaway speed to burn the 'Boys sketchy defense.  


If you've made it this far in your fantasy football season, congratulations, but you still got to get it done today to be the champ.  Take NYMWS's advice and get this shit done!  Good luck to all.

-ClayTON

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Clay's GMEN are Dogs, but WHY????

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I get that the Giants are not a good team.  I get that they only have 5 wins and the Rams have 6 wins.  I get that the Rams will get after Eli with their monster defense.  I get all of that.  But this idea that the Rams are 7 point favorites over my Giants is an absolute joke.
I don't care that the people over here in the show me state are incredibly nice and have a lot of respect for me and my football team, I am not nice and I do not respect their football team.  
I have no clue who tosses the rock over here in St. Louis.  I mean I'm watching the NFL Network right now and I see Kurt Warner on the screen so I'm guessing it's not him.  After that I got nothing.  
Another thing, that some may say is a deterrent, is the fact that my guy Rashad Jennings is out today with a bum ankle.  I actually love this today for the Giants, just for the fact that McAdoo doesn't have to try and feed him the ball.  The rookie Andre Williams has a big test today in trying to protect Eli when he drops back, but if he can pass this test I can't see the Giant losing.
Oh yea, and I don't know if you've seen a guy in blue that wears #13, he's pretty good.  If Eli can get a couple of seconds and just throw it up to OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....BJ it will be a long day for that St. Louis secondary that love to gamble.
I want to thank St. Louis for the hospitality, there are some really nice people here.  Of course there are a couple of weirdos here like everywhere, but I especially want to give a shout out to the guy who was convinced that my brother and I were "tripping balls, man".  I guess a couple of dudes can't get a little rowdy after a few drinks nowadays without being accused of "tripping balls, man".

Giants(+7)-23 Rams-9

-Clay

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"Tripping balls" guy had a smokin hot chick on his arm and I think that's the number 1 reason why that shit was confusing, but now that I think about it maybe they like to fuck while "tripping balls, man", which is HOT.