Clay's Fantasy Minaj

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Viagra Play of the Week - Alfred Blue (Texans RB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

I'm not going to do it. I swear I'm not going to do the corny ass thing everyone expects me to do with this one.  But what I am going to do is praise one of my favorite rookies this year(behind OBJ obviously).  Alfred Blue is a stud that was an absolute steal in the 6th round out of OBJ's Alma mater, LSU.  
Just think the Texans 1-2 punch at running back is Arian Foster, who went undrafted, and Blue the 6th rounder.  That's some scouting team they got over there in Houston, huh?
The only problem with the Texans duo is that Foster can never stay healthy.  Good thing Alf has emerged as one of the best backs in the league.  I mean this guy is fast, strong, shifty, and powerful.  He's also what we in the biz would call a down field runna.
It looks like Foster is primed for another week on the sidelines in his sweatsuit with a stiff groin so Alf will be called on again to shoulder the load.  Maybe he gets another 36 carries like last week?  Who knows, but all I know is he'll get his ass in the end zone a couple of times.  
Like I said I'm not going to do it.  

Maybe just once??? 

BBW - Philip Rivers (Chargers QB)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

Da window throwa himself.  But this isn't the window throw we know and love.  My man is hurt.  Did anyone else see him limping around last week against the Raiders looking like an old man?  Rivers is supposedly suffering from a "severe rib injury", according to our favorite 2 time guest star on "The League", Antonio Gates.  The Chargers say there is nothing wrong with Rivers, but I disagree with that completely after the embarrassment Rivers put up last week.
The Chargers running game is next to nothing recently and there's no coincidence that since the ground game has sucked so has Rivers.  My man has absolutely zero time to get rid of the ball and he keeps taking shot after shot.  This spells doom against a team in the Rams that have teed off in recent weeks against the likes of Peyton Manning and Colin Kaepernick.  
The Rams have 13 sacks in the last 3 weeks, so I hate to say it but da window throwa won't be throwing through any windows today.  Keep him on your bench so you can win your match up this week or Antonio Gates will punch you right in the face.

Moped Ride of the Week - Zach Mettenberger (Titans QB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it) 

I referred to Mettenberger last week as the wanna be Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused, but after watching him last week on MNF, I gotta say I'm a fan.  Even though I'm a USC guy, this UCLA product has a cannon and he's a smart dude.  I think his team absolutely sucks and no matter what they will find a way to lose, but with this selfie loving mofo at the helm they're on the right track to success.  
What better couple of games for Mettenberger to gain confidence in the NFL than against some awful secondaries starting last week with the Steelers and continuing this week with the Eagles.  'Berger will drop the hammer out at the Linc this afternoon and keep your fantasy team alive for the playoff push.  Again the Titans will lose, but if you play him on your own fantasy team you will win.  Just make sure you drop him immediately after this week because I mean he's just a hump and dump.

-Clay

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PS
With all of this talk about "The League" we can't forget to congratulate our favorite plastic surgeon here at NYMWS Dr. Andre Nowzick, on his 2nd Shiva Bowl Championship!