Friday, September 30, 2016

Is Clay Really Looking For A Ryder Cup Blog?


Sometimes, my "Blogging Brother From Another Mother" just doesn't get it. I've come to accept that about him, and like any loyal lover, I look past his cluelessness. For instance, all summer long, Clayton rolls out of bed and slides his hairy cankles into cargo shorts. We all know cargo shorts are unacceptable, but do I come on the pod anymore and introduce him as the 'Cargo-Short-Rocking Clayton'? No, I let my boy live. Heck, I have even defended him recently on social media against the cargo short backlash he gets from his lady and her pack of pennies. 

As much as I try to give my babe a hard pass on his cluelessness, I can't do it today. In his ultimate moment of cluelessness, he tweets this...

My apologies folks. And no Clayton, I am not apologizing to the folks because I did NOT post a Ryder Cup blog. I am apologizing to the folks because you thought they wanted a Ryder Cup blog. Our folks are Americans. They do not need me to come on here and tell them that this is the one time when we do not think that Patrick Reed is douchey. They do not need me to come on here and tell them that this is the one time when I take a leave of absence from my position of president/only member of the Sergio Garcia fan club. They do not need any of it! I would think a pick-up-truck-driving, bud-heavy-sipping American like you would know better. 

All they need is for Team USA to do what Americans do, and that is win. All day, everyday. We are pitching a shutout after the Friday Morning Foursomes, so you can pretty much just award us the Cup now. Okay, that might be a little sketchy because we are currently down in all of the Afternoon Four-Balls, but still. USA, USA, USA! 

-Fitzgerald

p.s. You can stop refreshing the blog. Clay has still not posted an A-Rod farewell blog. 

p.p.s. I cannot wait for the Ryder Cup to come to The Black. 




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