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Viagra Play of the Week - Joe Flacco (Ravens QB)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

I LOVE daaaaa Rrrrrraaaiders, but maybe I jumped the gun a bit on them being successful this season.  I will not give up on that dream, BUT I kinda think that I overrated the Oakland defense.  Especially that passing D.  The Ravens are set to travel cross country to visit the black hole and Flacco is looking to bounce back after a weak performance last week in Denver.  What better way to bounce back than against a team that Flacco put up 55 on in their 2012 meeting.  Furthermore, the Raiders only beat the Ravens ONCE in their history back in 2003.  That's even before Flacco was in Delaware slaying those little blue hen asses.  Flacco is a must start in all leagues. 

BBW - Calvin Johnson (Lions WR)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

I just heard Michael Irvin say that Megatron is going to get over 200 yards today, so maybe I'm in trouble....Naaaaaaa I'm good.  Clearly 'The Playmaker' doesn't play fantasy football and has not been watching CJ's numbers decline year after year after I pulled off the biggest heist in the world for him back in 2010 (some bozo took Peyton Hillis off my hands for Megatron).  Stafford is due for a big game, but for the first time in awhile Johnson will not be the guy that gets him out of the slump.  Sit Megatron as he will not see the end zone again this week.

Moped Ride of the Week - Danny Woodhead (Chargers RB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

I'm not too sure how long I could get away with taking Mr. Woodhead as a #moped, but I'm taking advantage of the opportunity this week. Chargers have a tough 1pm EST this week in Cincinnati, but I don't care.  I hate the Bengals and everything they stand for.  It absolutely sucks that Jeremy Hill is stuck on that mediocre team who seems to never win a big game ever, but maybe they will once they part ways with their sub par coach and quarterback.  But anyways, I digress.  The Bengals defense is usually a strength of theirs, but they seem to have taken a step back this year even though Pacman is still a scumbag.  In the words of Jay Mohr "Give da ball to Danny Woodhead!  Woody Woodhead aaaaaahhhhhaaaaaaaa".  Woodhead for the win.

Good luck today!  All the love! 


P.S.

The jabroni I got Megatron from that year ended up winning the league.  God, I fucking hate fantasy football.

-ClayTON

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