Bills Are Clay's Week 3 Dog

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Nothing sweeter then when Fitzgerald and myself are on the same page.  We are both all about that ex fat ass, feet lovin', defensive specialist son of a bitch, Sexy Rexy.  Giants fans, like myself, have watched this guy over the past 6 seasons take an OK team to 2 straight Championship Sundays then become the driver of the clown car that is the New York Jets.  It was cringe worthy at times, like when two people awkwardly start making out when others are around.

Obviously those awkward Jets times are over and Rex moved his family out to Western New York where they are off to a 1-1 after having to play the top 2 teams in the AFC from 2014.  Gotta love the tough schedule to start the season and gotta love that Rex is still running his mouth about how great he is.  

On the other end of the spectrum are those Miami Dolphins.  They were the hot pick coming into the season with Ryan Tannehill-who's just OK, Lamar Miller-who's overrated, their receivers-who can't get open quick enough, and that defense-who is EXTREMELY under performing.  The 'Phins may remember the last time Rex stepped foot in South Florida and just shit all over their stadium in his last ever game as the Jets coach.  Expect more of the same today as everyone knows those Miami players are just thinking about their long trip across the pond next week against another division rival. Expect the Dolphins to keep it close as they should force the more inexperienced Bills team into a few miscues, but it just won't be enough.

The line tells us that Vegas believes this is a pretty even match up.  I agree, but the Bills will win.  I mean how could anyone go against #BillsMafia??  They've never lost a tailgate in their life, the team is coming off of a tough loss at home in their "Super Bowl", and as the great Al Dukes once sang (with a slight change) "Bills fans are having sex, with gals who look like Rex, they are real flabby!".  Lastly he NYMWS boys are in lockstep on this game, so what are you waiting for??

Bills(+3)-23 Dolphins-21

PS
Dave "El Pres" Portnoy of Barstool Sports, did a fantastic job last week chronicling the aforementioned #BillsMafia and it's too funny.

-Clay

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Clay Rides That TB12 Wood

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So the Jags welcomed the Dolphins into their shit hole of a stadium last week and ended up winning on a late 4th quarter field goal, so now it's time to crown their asses?  Not up in here!

Everyone does understand that the Jags are still the Jags, right?  Oh yea and the Pats are still the Pats, right?  What do I mean by that?  Well, I think you all know , ok?  Ok?  Ok?

For those of you who are lawst, let me take you to school really quick:  The Patriots are basically unbeatable in the Tom Brady era at home, but especially over the past 3 plus seasons, only losing 4 home games in that span.  Tom Brady just put up damn near 500 yards himself on "best defense in the NFL" last week.  Last weeks performance was also the worst a Rex Ryan led defense ever was against the pass in his tenure as head coach.  Oh yea, and did I mention the Pat's don't lose at home?  

Some of you fools may say, "Sure Clay, the Pat's might win, but they sure as hell aren't covering that number!  Not against another team in the NFL!"  Wait what?  This is a serious argument I have heard from handicappers regarding this game, but that shit doesn't make any sense.  Who's going to cover Gronk?  Go ahead and double him, because then Tom will just hit up his boy Julian because we all know they love each other A LOT

And hell if that doesn't work he can flip it to Dion Lewis or even hit that LeGarrette Blount out of the backfield.  Basically what I'm saying is what everyone knows, the Pats are too good for the Jags plain and simple.  This Jacksonville team has a lot of promising young players starting with Blake Bortles, but he's a guy that turns the ball over too much and the Patriots are a team that exploits those miscues.  

The Jags are in for a rude awakening walking into Gillette this weekend off of the bombshell that the NYMWS's favorite radio host dropped on Friday morning.  Craig (or is it Chris) Carton basically said that the NFL is expediting an appeal that will end up with Brady serving that 4 game suspension that after all.  To be honest I really don't care about this anymore.  I'm so over "Deflategate" but I am 100% behind whatever Carton says, so if he believes it then so do I.  I'm all in.  So with that being the case, Tom knows his days are numbered here in the 2015 season so he's fucking pissed off and ready to drop his nut sack all over these Jaguars faces.



Patriots-35(-14) Jaguars-10


PS
TB12 is a sneaky good follow on Facebook.  Dude just trolls everyone from Roger Goddell to the fat linemen on his offensive line.  So far this year he's been mocking his upcoming opponents and this week was no different as he posted this classic Saturday afternoon,LOfuckingL:

Tom Brady

Preparing for some fierce competition tomorrow! ‪#‎24hours‬

-Clay

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Youston and Tamper Goin OVA

Photo Credit-Patrick E. McCarthy(Newsday) /Filter-NYMWS

This is the NFL we're talking about right?  We're talking about a bunch of professional ball players that understand that they must score in order to win.  So how can this game only have a ova/unda number of 40.5?  I actually don't think that either team is that bad.  Sure the Bucs are led by a sketchy rookie who's hit or miss and the Texans QB situation isn't much better as Ryan Mallett has ZERO touch whatsoever, but things started looking up later on in each of their week 2 contests.

Houston scored 2 touchdowns in the second half against a solid defense on the road, while Tampa put up 26 points on the road against a divisional opponent.  Fact is, both of these young dudes are ready to explode and show off their shit.  

The best part about Jameis Winston is that he isn't gun shy.  He isn't afraid to put everything on his right arm and toss the rock down the field play after play after play.  That fact, coupled with the true return of Tampa's top receiving threat, Mike Evans, got me screaming POINTS POINTS POINTS.  Like Winston, Mallett's running game is weak right now so he's going to be just letting it rip all over the place too. 

On top of all of this, they're going to be in a climate controlled environment down there in Youston and that will also attribute to MORE POINTS.  

The Texans will squeak this one out on a defensive score by JJ Watt early in the 4th, pushing all of us OVA and making Clay look good for once.

Texans-31 Bucs-22 OVA 40.5

-Clay

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Clay's Week 3 All RB Fantasy Minaj

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Viagra Play of the Week - LeSean McCoy (Bills RB-Draft Kings $6,100)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

After years of being my arch enemy on that shitty Eagles team, LeSean McCoy has changed conferences on a shocking off season trade.  Love that the Eagles return on this trade is already hurt, it makes it even sweeter, but I also think that this will be the first week that McCoy is actually 100% healthy.  After Rex put him on the Matt Harvey pitch count for the first two weeks, McCoy looks to break out for his new team in a big way.  McCoy will finally show why the Bills hierarchy wanted him so badly this offseason.  Roll LeSean with confidence for the first time this season.

BBW - DeMarco Murray (Eagles RB-Draft Kings $6,600)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

Transitioning from the Philly RB to the new one is interesting.  Murray couldn't be stopped last year with the Cowboys.  He was better than any running back ever.  He deserved the most money in the NFL.  Maybe he did, but Jerry Jones stuck out his chest and said "NO GLORY HOLE FOR YOU!"  This was the worst thing that could've happened to poor DeMarco.  The dude realized that he really isn't that good without the best offensive line in the game and even though he had great memories of Sam Bradford from college, he actually is a straight mediocre pro QB.  Chip Kelly is a chubby stubborn little man and will continue to give the ball to Murray out of the shotgun against the blistering Jets defense for some reason and as a result the running game will continue to suck.  Look for greener pastures elsewhere because Murray will continue to suffer.

Moped Ride of the Week - Melvin Gordon (Chargers RB-Draft Kings $5,000)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

Last week I rode that little Danny Woodhead moped right up your ass and this week I am going to transition to the "starting" Chargers running back.  I mean you can't really call Melvin Gordon the started with Woodhead just vulturing snaps from him because of the connection with Rivers.  Gordon did look impressive last week against a pretty good Bengal defense and I mean you can only keep a guy who scored 33 touchdowns last year out of the end zone for so long.  Melvin is an explosive back that can do some damage this week  against a shitty run defense in Minnesota (see Carlos Hyde Week 1). Gordon will succeed this week, especially if the Chargers come out of the gate with some life unlike last week where they slept walked through the first half.  My main man Melvin is a solid RB2 this week for sure.

Clay's Week 3 Draft King's Lineup:

Pos	Player	FPPG
QB	Cam Newton	21.0	swap out
RB	Melvin Gordon	9.8	swap out
RB	LeSean McCoy P	13.2	swap out
WR	John Brown	12.1	swap out
WR	Michael Crabtree	18.9	swap out
WR	Demaryius Thomas	17.8	swap out
TE	Rob Gronkowski	29.9	swap out
FLEX	Doug Baldwin	16.4	swap out
DST	Jets	15.5	swap out

-ClayTON

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Fitzy Lays FG Wood

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You already know my feelings on it. I blogged about it last week and I spoke about it on the podcast. I picked against him with our Jetsies as we invaded Indy on Monday Night Football Fitz. I'm not pleased with what Grigson, Irsay and Chuck have surrounded our guy Andrew Luck with. They've done a poor job putting him in a position to succeed. He's winless and his back is against the wall. But have no fear NY Morning Wood Sport #WoodLayers, it's time to hop on the Luck wager train. 

I miss my Andrew Luck. There's a fire burning in my bones and I still believe...yeah I still believe...sing it with me folks...

This is my fight song
Take back my Luck song
Prove Luck's alright song
His power's turned on
Starting now he'll be strong
We'll play his fight song
And I don't really care
If nobody else believes
Cause he's still got 
A lot of fight left in him


I don't give a rat's ass what hot garbage is around Andrew Luck. Luck and Luck alone are more than 3 points better than this Titans team. Get on board with the next big thing turning his season around in this AFC South showdown. 

Colts (-3) 34 – Titans 17

-Fitzgerald

p.s. Sup Rachel?

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Fitzy Goes West to Lay the Wood

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Russell is in a tough spot. Dating a MILF is hard. Dating a MILF who's baby daddy is a thug like Future is even harder. Dating a MILF who's baby daddy is a thug like Future who's been out spoken on his feelings about you being around his seed is even fucking harder. Even worse, dating a MILF who you're not even giving the pipe to is on another level of hard that I don't even know how to describe. 

Ciara is a sexy ass chick. She gets Fitzy going. I'm also pretty sure all the fantasy footballers in our NYMWS home league tugged one out to this video since I posted it on the league's original LM note back in 2010.... 

What Fitzy is getting at is that off the field things are far from solving themselves for Russell. Based on this NY Post report it doesn't sound like Future is easing up, and I haven't heard any rumblings of the duo getting married, so it seems like Russ is stuck to getting off to CiCi the same way Fitzy does. Wait...is a religious guy like him even allowed to do that? Is the Pope still in NY? Wait, the Pope is always in NY! Mongos, I need a ruling. Get on the horn on Monday and ask him if that's allowed based on Russell's religious beliefs. 

Any who, on the field, things are about to be on the up and up for Russ. The Mr. Kristin Cavallari less Bears visit the Seahawks this week in what's shaping up to be a blood bath. Chicago's subtraction of Cutler and Alshon against the Legion of Boom's addition of failed holdouter Kam Chancellor is providing us with the confidence needed to lay wood this big. Sprinkle in a little Jimmy Graham hates his role and then is fine with his role and you get all you need to cover the number in this one. Go Hawks! 

SEAHAWKS (-14.5) 37 – Bears 6

-Fitz 1:19

p.s. Beast Mode will go in this one but even if he doesn't Freddy Action Jackson can get done what we need against this less than stellar defense.

p.p.s. Even though he isn't playing, we did mention him, so...

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FantasyFitz's Week 3 Minaj

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Viagra Play of the Week - Brandon Marshall (New York Jets WR)  

(This guy is guaranteed to erect your point total)

Don't worry B, game recognizes game. Forget what these other jabronis think, I agree that you're one of the best out there. Brandon Marshall is off to an early lead in the Gang Green MVP race with his play through the team's first two wins. Jay Cutler's former first mate has 13 grabs, on 19 targets, for 167 yards and 2 touchdowns this year. Those numbers are paying dividends for those of us who bought B Marsh at his bargain draft day price. Look for that to continue against this brutal Chip Kelly secondary in week 3. His $6,200 DraftKings price tag shows me that they also don't recognize that he's one of the best out there. But that doesn't piss me off because that's affordable as f*ck for a Viagra Play. 

BBW - Justin Forsett (Ravens RB)

(Blue Balls Warning - This guy will leave you painfully unsatisfied and wanting more)

Let's do some quick time traveling. On January 27, 2014 Gary Kubiak became the running specialist offensive coordinator for the Baltimore Ravens. On February 15, 2014 Ray Rice had a disgusting physical altercation with his now wife Janay which resulted in him being suspended from the NFL and cut by the Ravens. Add those two dates together and what do you get? The overachieving and future overhyping of Justin Forsett. As of September 26, 2015 Kubs and his talents are in Denver (expect a bounce back for CJ), no NFL franchise has the stones to sign Ray (what he did was TERRIBLE, but he's done all we've asked of him) and Justin is on his way to back to being the man he was on January 26, 2014 (an unusable fantasy running back). At $6,000 on DraftKings, the price is wrong bitch. 

BTW...Fitz is a big Zo guy. He needs to get healthy, but he's the guy to own in the Ravens backfield.  

Moped Ride of the Week - Fitzy's Tyrod/Percy Bills Stack (Bills QB / RB)

(This guy will be fun to ride for the week but you're not going to want to brag to your friends about doing it)

God it feels good to get back in bed with Rexy. Rex's Bills travel out to South Beach this week for an AFC East showdown. It's weird that Rex and I are back in bed in this position. The offensive position was never one that we climaxed together in during his time in green and white. It wasn't for a lack of effort on my part. Fitzy's owned a lot of Shonn Greene, Santonio Holmes and even a little Plaxico during Rex's tenure. I stuck with him, but he never got me there. He'll get me there this week though. Call it a fourway....Fitzy, Rex and the Tyrod/Percy stack. Tyrod and Percy will have a day against this Dolphins team that sounds like they're from London. Love that Forgetting Sarah Marshall movie. We can go to jail this week for robbing Tyrod at $5,800 and Percy at $4,400 on DraftKings. 

FantasyFitz's Week 3 DraftKings Lineup

Pos	Player	FPPG
QB	Tyrod Taylor P	22.4	swap out
RB	Dion Lewis	20.4	swap out
RB	Latavius Murray	16.4	swap out
WR	A.J. Green P	12.4	swap out
WR	Brandon Marshall	22.2	swap out
WR	Emmanuel Sanders	21.6	swap out
TE	Jimmy Graham	9.6	swap out
FLEX	Percy Harvin P	14.6	swap out
DST	Jets	15.5	swap out

-FantasyFitz